


Âmes soeurs

by Windex_Noises



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: F/M, I love all these kids g o d, I'll add more tags as this story progresses, M/M, Major character death is for Georgie oops, Multi, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Sexism, Soulmates AU, maybe others idk yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-06 07:45:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12206880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Windex_Noises/pseuds/Windex_Noises
Summary: The Losers live in a world with no color until you find what people call your Soulmate, and when you find that person your world explodes into color. Some of them are desperate to see these colors, while others aren't so eager. What they don't know is that while love is amazing, it can hurt you in many ways. Some say it can even be twisted into hatred if done correctly, and can even be the death of you.





	1. The truth hurts

**Author's Note:**

> Hi yea I suck at Summerys I apologize for whatever the hell I just wrote to summarize this fic. This chapter follows Bill, enjoy! Also I have no beta, all mistakes are mine

_ Bill- 1982 _

Bill Denbrough lived 10 years of his life thinking that the world was only in black, grey, and white. He never knew that the grass was green, or the sky was blue. His parents never told him because they wanted the first time he saw colors to be special. Georgie didn’t know about colors either, and when Bill burst through the door one day with stars in his eyes he was sworn to never tell is brother.

Bill didn’t understand why he couldn’t tell his brother, and why his parents were so mad at his teacher for telling him the world wasn’t as dull as he believed. The entire class was ecstatic to learn about colors, and Bill didn’t think it should be kept from his brother.

“Mom, a-a-are you sure I can’t t-t-tell Georgie? He’d be so h-h-happy!” He smiles sheepishly up at his mother, who didn’t answer him. That was parent code for no, and Bill’s smile drops. “I just don’t g-g-get it! It’s am-amazing, why can’t I tell h-h-him? It doesn't make sense!” His mom sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose, turning to face him. 

“Because, Billy, we want the first time your brother sees colors to surprise him. That’s what me and your dad planned for you, but it seems the school ruined the surprise of a lifetime.” She was cross, he can tell. Dad was still at work, so he knew nothing of what happened at school today. All Bill knows is he didn’t want to be downstairs when it happened, it would be a whole new breakdown on his fathers end. 

“It wasn’t ru-ruined though! It’s making kids look ar-around for their soulmates!” He’s careful with his tone, not wanting to sound like he was arguing with his mom. “Is-is-isn’t that a good thing?”

“Billy.” She states carefully. “You find your soulmate when the time is right. You don’t need to go looking for them. It’s.. It’s complicated. I’ll explain more when you’re older.” Bill looks up at his moms soft smile with a confused expression, waiting a few seconds before opening his mouth.

“I'm older no-n-now.” She laughs and kisses his forehead, turning her back on him and making her way into the kitchen.

“You’re so silly, Billy. That’s why we call you that.” With a light chuckle she disappears behind the wall, and Bill frowns. He’s not silly, he’s very serious. He looks down at his shirt, which is a dark grey. What color is it really? Maybe purple, Mr. Zenger's favorite? 

Will he ever know what color it is?

“Billy!” An all too familiar voice calls from the stairs. He doesn’t even have to turn around to see Georgie standing by the railing with a huge smile. “It’s gonna rain! We gots to make a boat, it’s tredishion!” Georgie is basically hoping up and down with excitement. 

“Tradition, G-Georgie.” Bill reminds him, walking over to his little brother and wrapping him in a hug. “A-Alright, d-d-did you get all the s-s-supplies?” He asks, ruffling Georgie’s hair.

“Yup! I already named it too!” He pulls out a piece of paper in his pockets, holding it out to Bill so he can see. In adorably messy handwriting, the misshapen letters spelt:  _ S.S Rainy _

“Sh-she, Georgie. W-we call bo-boats she, remember?” This was the 8th time he’s had to tell Georgie this, and he smiles at that fact. Georgie always got so excited when it rained, because he was able to spend time with his big brother. Bill loves the time he spends making the boat and helping Georgie chase it down. “I’ll l-let it sl-slide this time. Let-let's go ma-make S.S Rai-Rainy!”

Bill didn’t even have time to finish his sentence before Georgie was scrambling up the stairs. 

 

“Billy?” Georgie asks softly, watching in awe as Bill folded the paper into what seemed to be an impossible shape. 

“Y-y-yeah Georgie?” Bill sticks his tounge out in concentration, not wanting to mess up his brothers boat. He knew Georgie wouldn’t mind, but for some reason he thought he may get mad at him if it had one wrong fold. It's like how Georgie gets when they can’t keep up to their boat and she gets lost.

“Why do you do that?” He leans over Bill's shoulder, wanting to get a closer look at the process to making the boat. One day, he would be able to make one for Bill himself. 

“O-Oh, i-it’s so the b-b-boat has a be-better ch-chance of fl-floating, e-even without th-the w-w-wax… it all-also adds ex-extra weight so th-the wind won’t carry i-it away.” He’s impressed with Georgies interest in paper boats, maybe one day he would be a sailor, or even make real boats.

“Not that, but that’s super cool!” He exclaims, eyes wide. “I meant the saying stuff over again. Why do you do that? Doesn’t it annoy people?” Georgie tilts his head to the side, having been too scared to ask Bill this question before.

He shouldn’t have asked it. Bills small smile fades, and he puts down the half finished paper boat. “I-It’s c-c-called a stu-stutter, Georgie. I-I got it wh-when Henry B-Bowers hit m-my throat with a r-rock in 1st g-g-grade.” He doesn’t bother answering Georgies other question.

He hears his brother gasp, then give him a tight bear hug. “That’s so mean! He still makes fun of you for it too! One day, I’m gonna be big and tough and scare him, just for you Billy!”

Bill lets out an airy laugh. “As much a-a-as I appreciate th-that, I s-s-s-sorta c-c-can’t breathe, G-Georgie…” 

His brother only tightens his grip, giggling. “I will be the death of you, Billy! You’ll die from my huge bear hugs!” After a few more moments of Georgie squeezing his guts out, he finally lets go. “But if I do that, we can’t chase down S.S Rainy! I guess you live to see another day..” Georgie fakes disappointment before watching as Bill resumes to make their boat, adding the finishing touch.

“Let’s g-g-go get ou-our raincoats…” Bill stands up and leaves the boat on the table to dry, leading Georgie by the hand to get ready to go into the rain. The mood may taken a sour turn, but they’re going to have a great time in the rain. Georgie picks up his white raincoat and slips it over his shoulders, smiling up at Bill. 

“Ready!” He shouts, saluting Bill. “S.S Rainy is ready for liftoff!” He runs back into Bill's room, grabbing the paper boat and speeding out the door. Bill follows after him, shouting,

“P-Planes liftoff Ge-Georgie! N-Not boats!”

 

_ 1983 _

Bill looks out the window into the downpour, watching Georgie run off down the street in pursuit of his new paper boat. This was the first time Bill ever let Georgie go alone, and it’s only because he’s sick. He trusts Georgie enough, the neighborhood is a pretty safe place, and all the people know Georgie from his signature white raincoat. Bill just hopes he doesn’t run into Henry Bowers, that would be the worst thing that could happen to him.

He opens up the three cards on his desk, all made by his friends. Richie got him a happy deathday card, where did he even find that? Eddie sent a short and sweet handwritten letter, saying how he hopes Bill gets better soon. Stan sent him a card with four paragraphs, taking up the front and back of the card.

He chuckles at how different his friends are from one another. Bill thought they would never all be friends, but here they are. They’ve all had to save Richie several time for randomly just grabbing girls hands, praying that may be his soulmate. 

The group has an unspoken rule, and Bill has no idea how it started. He thinks it may be because of Eddie. No one in the group ever touches each other, mainly because it’s looked down upon. You’re not supposed to be doing intimate things with people other than your soulmate, touching included. It’s socially frowned upon, but most people do it anyway.

He guesses their group just follows the rules then. Or,  _ Eddie _ makes them follow the rules is what’s more accurate. 

Bill impatiently taps his fingers on the desk, looking at his bedside table anxiously. He told Georgie to get back by 5:30, it was 5:45. He was going to get sick too, and Billy doesn’t need to see his baby brother a sniffling ball covered in tissues. 

“Bill?” His mom shouts up the stairs, voice filled with worry. “Bill, is Georgie back yet?” 

“N-N-No! B-But he should be soon!” Bill calls down, feeling his stomach twist into knots. He glimpses over at Georgies small bed, a wave of dread falling over him. His brothers white sheets were now a soft grey, and Bill doesn’t remember Georgie getting a new sheet for his bed.

“Bill, sweetie, me and your father are going out to look for him! We’ll be back soon!” Bill looks over at the window, not responding to his mom. He sees them leave the house in search for their child. Bill waits by the front door for them to come back.

They do come back, but crying, and without Georgie. He refuses to believe the truth that he’s missing, because the truth hurts.

 

_ 1984 _

“S-Stan, th-that’s a t-t-terrible idea.” Bill furrows his brow , shaking his head at an overly excited Stanley Uris. 

“What are you talking about, it’s the perfect idea! If the rumors are true, then we’re the only people she hasn't…. Erm… touched. It has to be one of us four!” Stan looks between Richie and Eddie. Richie rubs his chin thoughtfully and nods in agreement.

“She is kinda hot.” Richie admits with a shrug, wiggling his eyebrows at Bill suggestively. “Perhaps she’s the Romeo to your Juliete, Big Bill!” Bill ignores that. He ignores most everything Richie says when it has to do with some sort of innuendo, which is 85% of the time.

Eddie shifts uncomfortably, playing with the hem of his shirt. “I don’t know guys, she may not be a faithful soul mate if she is one of ours…” He points out, making Stan frown.

“She may just be looking for her soulmate, I don't know.” Stan lets out a deep sigh. “My mom is gonna kill me if I don’t have a girlfriend by the bar mitzvah…”

“Oh god don’t tell me she got colorful shit.” Richie says, groaning and dramatically falling into the grass.

Stan nods. “She’s getting colorful shit.” 

“B-But wh-why? Y-you wo-won’t e-even be ab-able to s-see it! Th-thats ju-just m-mean! Y-you shouldn’t b-be pressured to g-get a gir-girlfreind s-so you c-can enjoy your o-own celebration…” Bill huffs, running his hands through his hair. “M-maybe y-you should j-just have i-it themed wi-with white and a d-dark g-grey. Th-that’s formal, right?” Bill looks at his friends for help, who look equally unsure.

“Just draw a bunch of dicks everywhere.” Richie suggests. “That shows you’re finally growing a pair of balls.” Stan throws a pebble at him.

“No, holy hell you need to grow up.” Stan glares and a cackling Richie who’s rolling around in the grass.

“You should get the colors.” Eddie says abruptly. “So the people who are with their soulmates can see all the hard work put into the party, especially if there’s a theme. They may just assume you have a soul mate at that point.” He sips his juice nonchalantly while the group gawks at him.

“When the fuck did Eddie Spaghetti get smart? How did I miss this phenomenon?” Richie sits up, smirking. “It’s a miracle of God, I’m truly surprised.”

Stan is silent, and then softly mumbles, “I’m supposed to be the smart one…”

Eddie scoffed, crossing his arms. “What the hell guys, I’m not allowed to have a brain or some shit? Also, don’t call me Eddie Spaghetti!” He shoots a glare at Richie.

“D-Do you think th-that would w-work Stan?” Bill looks at his baffled best friend, who  just silently nods.

“Mom would be fine with it… she just wants people to think I’ve found my soulmate because most boys my age do find their soulmate before they’re barmitzvah…” He pauses and turns to Eddie. “Did you know that?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Duh, you’ve only been talking about all the rules and how other kids bar mitzvahs go for about 5 months now.” 

“And you were actually LISTENING?” Stans face flushes, he said a lot of stupid bullshit during his rants, after all he wanted his celebration of becoming a man to be perfect.

“Uh, yeah?” Eddie says as if he wasn’t the only one who listened to Stan when he went off on a tangent.

“H-H-Holy sh-shit Eddie, e-even I wasn’t li-listening du-during that.” Bill smirks, giggling. “O-Only you h-have the patience to list-listen to him and Richie at t-the same time!” 

Eddie glances at Richie. “Actually, I was tuning him out.”

“You WHAT?” Richie screams, instantly sitting up. “You dick! You missed my best joke of the year! I can’t even remember it but dammit I know it was good! You ignored me for  _ him _ ?” He motions to  Stan, who's laughing his ass off. 

Bill snickers. “T-To be f-f-fair Richie, you d-do talk about f-fucking his mom alot.” 

“And he talks about fucking my none existent sister sometimes! He seriously missed my best joke to learn facts he won’t even need!” Richie crosses his arms and pouts. Stan wipes tears of laughter away from his face.

“Richie, are you actually jealous I decided that learning about our friends religion was more important then you seriously needing to go to a mental hospital for how much you want to have sex with my mother?”  Eddie raises his eyebrows. “Thats a low, even for you.”

“WHEN DID HE GET A PAIR OF BALLS? STAN, HE STOLE YOUR CELEBRATION THING!” Richie screeches, backing away in fear of the smaller boy.

“I think it happened when he decided you weren’t interesting enough for him!” Stan says between laughs. “He’s gonna go to college and forget every single sex joke you’ve ever made!”

Richie gasps. “The horror! Oh god the utter horror!” He clutches his chest. “My poor Eds, what have they done to you?”

Eddie can’t help but laugh, then processing what Richie said makes him stop. “Don't call me Eds!” He snaps.

Bill knows he secretly doesn’t mind the affectionate nickname. 

Richie covers his ears like a disobedient six year old. “Lalalala, can’t hear you!” Eddie throws more pebbles at Richie. “Ow! Hey, this is Richie abuse! Don’t hate me just cause I’m perfect.” He slyly smiles.

Stan chuckles. “Oh you fucking wish. We all have one thing in common, and you can’t escape that fact Richie.”

“Oh, and what might that be Stan?” Richie mocks Stan's voice while crossing his arms.

“We’re all losers without a soul mate to help us see the world.”

 

Bill found himself lying awake at night, listening to the gentle drum of the rain as those words that Stan said played over and over again in his mind. He wasn’t wrong, and that got Richie to shut up too, which is something that never happens. Eddie left shortly after that, they all didn’t even say goodbye. It’s the truth, sure, but the truth hurts.


	2. World vs. Bev

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly has to survive her last day of high school before summer starts. It shouldn't be too difficult, but the world just loves to screw over her now doesn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the positive feedback on the first chapter! This was beta's by reddieforanything, go follow her on Tumblr!!

Chapter Two

_ Beverly  _

The moment Beverly hears the bell ring she rushes out of her fifth period class, desperate to get outside or just go anywhere to escape Greta before she can stop her in the hall. The loud laughter of the other kids rings in her ears and makes her feel nauseous. She smiles at the sight of the back doors, ready to just climb a tree and hide until it's time for social studies. 

“How’s it going, slut?” Her heart plummets, but she doesn’t stop walking. No way in hell is she going to let Henry fucking Bowers ruin the few moments she gets to herself.

“What, sad I didn’t come back for more action?” Beverly can feel the stupid smirk he’s most likely wearing, shoving open the doors and keeping her head down.

“Or are you disappointed I didn’t see colors like your dad does-” Anger boils in her veins, she snaps her head back to look at him, fists clenched at her side.

“Shut the hell up, Bowers. I can take you down in one swing.” The words slip out without hesitation and she doesn’t regret saying them. Beverly knows she should have kept her mouth shut, not have given him the satisfaction of getting under her skin and getting a reaction from her.

“Oh really?” He taunts, walking closer to her. She’s surprised his friends aren’t with him, maybe they finally realized killing cats for target practice is a shitty thing. “Says the girl I had under-”

Beverly doesn’t let him finish; she decks him in the face then and there. Tears prick her eyes, but she punches him again before storming off. That night was a mistake. She should have never agreed to drink any beer, or even go to a high school party. In a small town like Derry, news like someone fucking someone else gets spread fast. 

It also is considered a horrible thing to do whenever you haven’t found your soulmate, and now half the school is convinced no guy there is a virgin because of her.

At least she knows everyone here will literally take any chance they can get to make this town any less boring after the missing kid incident.

She stares up at the tree in front of her, throwing her backpack onto one of the branches. This school can take away her social life, but she can still show that she’s a sucker for any challenge given to her.

“Alright then, Greta says your a slut and a little shit.” Beverly mumbles to herself, grabbing the first branch. “Since she can’t make up her mind, let's show her I’m neither of those things…” She lifts herself up, digging her heel into the bark of the tree and steadying her leg on a nearby branch before grabbing another, higher one. “Let’s show Henry that I’m not a whore who’ll just suck anyone's dick…”

She angrily wipes tears from the edges of her eyes, threatening to spill over. “That I’m not my dad's little girl..” Beverly swings herself onto the highest point of the tree, resting her head on the trunk and looking through the leaves, letting silent tears roll off her cheeks. 

“I’m Beverly Marsh, and I’m gonna beat the world's ass.” 

 

It’s odd to admit, but after having a breakdown you just feel… better. Sure, a little numb, but to be fair anyone would want to have a moment of no emotions after having 25 minutes of none stop crying.

“Ben Hansbrough?” Mrs. Deluve calls out, looking around the room in confusion. A short and slightly chubby boy stood up, catching Beverly's eye instantly. 

“Uh, here…” He shifts his feet, not making eye contact with the teacher. Who was this kid? School was ending today, who shows up on the last day of school when they’re a new kid?

“Oh! I wasn’t told I would be getting a new student…” The teacher grumbled, putting down her role call papers, and rubbing her temples. The new kid looks down at his feet, sitting back in his chair.

Beverly can’t help but feel bad for him. This was the new kid then? He must like school... Henry would instantly go after him, giving him a Derry High school welcome. 

He looks up at her, eyes widening. She gives him a soft smile and waves at him, but not before someone quickly yells out, “OOO, NEW KID GONNA GET FUCKED BY BEV THE HOE!”

They both avert their eyes, the teacher scolding the student who yelled that out. His name was Gavin or something like that, he was normally quiet…

Though nothing in Derry ever really stays normal, everyone who lives here learns that one way or another. Everyone is shocked a killer hasn’t showed up in this town, or hasn’t even been born here yet. 

Beverly gives her attention back to the teacher, who is now showing a missing kid poster on the board. This catches her attention.

“-She was reported missing a week ago, if you see her please instantly call the police. Her mother is worried sick about her, and would appreciate your efforts to find her.” The teacher rolls her eyes while giving the clearly rehearsed speech. “Make sure you say on curfew and are home by 7:00, or you may be taken too.” Beverly admires and hates how brutally honest her teacher's voice is, Mrs. Deluve clearly could care less if every kid in the county went missing. Less little demons for her to deal with, Beverly guesses.

Ben raises her hand, much to the dismay of her teacher. “What is it?”

“You don’t think the yearly cases of dead children are going to show up again, do you?” He asks with complete innocence, even though the entire class is staring at him with their mouths agape.

God, he’s going to get murdered by half the students after class. It’s an honest mistake, really! He’s new after all, he doesn’t know the rule…

After a few minutes of complete silence, Mrs. Deluve clears her throat. “Missing, Ben. They’re missing.” Her eyes show a flash of pain, something rare for their otherwise heartless teacher. 

Everyone who has ever lived in Derry knows about Georgie Denbrough, the soft spoken boy with the white raincoat and a fascination for paper boats whenever it rained. It broke the town's heart to learn that boy with the messy grey hair and sweet smile had gone missing, it still hurts to even talk about the incident. Beverly didn’t really know the small boy, but she’s helped him chase down one boat or two. He was sweet- He IS sweet.

Ben realizes his mistake, nodding while sinking back into his chair.  She can almost read every word he’s thinking right now, the main one being,

_ I fucked up. _

She doesn’t know why she feels so bad for this, or why she wants to  _ talk _ with him so bad. When a new kid shows up they’re normally ignored until taken in by one the the cliques, if any at all. 

The rest of the class is a blur for Beverly, she normally tunes out social studies anyway, it being their last class of the day. Now she has to face a new challenge, avoiding Greta again. She swears that the girl has a chip implanted in her skull, no matter where Beverly hides Greta seems to have a 92% chance of finding her.

“Oh look! Its Bevy, wonder when she’s gonna get taken!” God damnit. It may not have been Satan herself but it was one of her little minions. 

Another one of her ‘friends’ let out a giggle. “He probably wouldn’t even have to ask her for anything, she’d just do him on the spot…” The two girls circle Beverly. “That desperate to find your soulmate, whore?” 

She ducks in between the two girls legs, clutching her backpack to her chest and running into the bathroom. She slams a stall door behind her and locks it, sitting on the toilet with her knees up.

It doesn’t take 5 seconds for that door to swing open again.

“Ah, poor thing thinks she can hide from her shame! How adorable!” Beverly doesn't even know which one is talking, all she knows is that their voices are like nails on a chalkboard. 

“Maybe we should make her smell how she is on the inside~” One of them suggests, the heels of their ridiculous shoes clicking on the tiled floors. Beverly's eyes widen, their going to the sewage pipe.

“Hell yes!” The enthusiasm in their voices makes her breath speed up. She will  _ not _ let these high school mean girls make her hyperventilate. 

“I wonder how people would think of you if they knew you both still haven't seen colors despite what you’ve said.” She barks, a smile creeping on her face at the silence she’s greeted with.

“You little BITCH!” Someone’s shoulder rams into the stall door, causing Beverly to jump. “You better take that back, if you do we may not make you look like how you really are.” They snarl, punching the door in fury.

“I’m not taking it back. Maybe you’d stop harassing kids if they knew your cyan nails were really just a random color you picked up at the drugstore.” It felt good to give these girls a taste of their own medicine.

“Oh you’re so gonna get it…” One of the girls leaves the bathroom, most likely to retrieve their leader. It’s sad that they can’t even bully people correctly without her.

She giggles at that thought, that was a good one. 

“What the fuck are you laughing at?” The lonely minion growls; water of the sewage pipe being turned on. “You won’t be laughing when we dump shit and water on you…”

Beverly decides it would be best if she kept her mouth shut for now, she’s made them mad enough. The door opens once more, and after only 3 seconds of blessed silence, her stall door is kicked with such a weak voice all she can do is roll her eyes.

“Hiding in a stall, really Beverly? Tell me, what color is it? Oh right!” Greta lets out a bitter laugh. “Your dad isn’t there with you! My bad!”

Beverly stays silent, not daring to open her mouth in case a choking sob ripped through her throat.

“Gonna say something, slut?” She hears Greta get even closer to the door. “Come on you little shit, stop hiding!” Greta gives the door another swift kick.

Beverly looks at the ceiling of the bathroom, grounding herself. “Which is it, Greta? Am I a slut, or a little shit? Make up your mind if it’s not too rotted by the illusion that you and Evan Fisher are soulmates.”

“That’s it! We gave you a chance…” She hears a slush of water and puts her backpack over her head just in time to avoid being hit with the shitty water. “Now people will finally stay away from you, you fucking whore!” The group stomps out of the bathroom, leaving Beverly in there alone.

She could just easily break down crying then and there. Who would want her as a soulmate, surely to god whoever it is has heard all the rumors. Instead of dwelling on what could be the sad truth, she stands up and kicks open the stall door.

Beverly is sticking to the vow she made earlier to herself, if she starts to sob that means Greta won this round. She turns on the water and starts to scrub her hair, using the hand soap to clean her arms and hands. Her dress may be fatally ruined, but at least the rest of her looks semi decent.

 

A familiar face catches her eye as she walks out the school, spotting Ben with a rather large project, or something like that.

“Hey.” She greets calmly, still causing the shorter boy to drop what he was holding onto the ground, causing it to break. “Uh… Henry and his goons are by the east gates… I’d avoid them.”

He looks up at her with wide eyes, his headphones slightly askew. She reaches for them with a smile.

“What'cha listening to, quiet kid?” He stumbles back before she can touch his head. A wave of confusion hits her before it makes sense. He’s scared of anyone to touch him except his soulmate, like half the population. 

“U-Uh…” He clears his throat, muttering something to himself. “It’s kinda stupid, I was just letting it play on shuffle and…” He trails off, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well, what is it?” Beverly tilts her head to the side, giving him a goofy lopsided smile. “I’m sure it’s not too bad.” She insists.

“...New Kids on the Block…” He mutters, not looking up at Beverly. She gasps.

“Hey, cool! It’s kinda funny cause you’re the new kid on the block!” This makes him look at her with a small smile. “I’m Beverly.”

“I know!” He says quickly, eyes widening. “I mean, yeah I know who you are. We share a class, social studies? Ben?” He seems kinda hurt that she didn’t remember him, though she did.

“Oh, that’s right! Well, I guess I'll see you around, Ben from soc!” She turns to the street and waves at him, making her way into the town. Beverly nervously glances at her lower gut, it twisting into knots that made her want to fall over. That’s been happening for the past few days now…

 

_ Alright Bev, you’ve got this. It’s just tampons, every girl gets a period. _

She scans the rows of different brands, reaching out for 4 random boxes before quickly grabbing one and heading to check out. Before she turns into an aisle, she see’s Greta and speed walks an aisle over.

She was not expecting to be met face to face with three boys carrying supplies for what looks to be a dying man. Beverly puts the box behind her back as the boys stare at her. 

“What do you need all that for?” She asks, wanting to break the awkward silence.

“It’s nothing…” The shortest boy tells her, stacking up rolls of gauze.

“Some kid ran into Henry and he looks like he’s dying.” A taller boy says, his grey curls out of control. 

“Oh.” Beverly replies. What do you say to that? What’s the correct thing to say?

The tallest of the boys pulls out what has to be 5 dollars. “I d-d-don’t think w-w-we ha-have enough m-money to-though…” 

The voice is easily recognized. It’s Georgies older brother. She instantly feels sympathy, and glances over at the counter. 

“I have an idea…” She offers.

 

“H-H-Hey!” Beverly hears behind her, she turns with a small smile and the 5 crumpled dollars are shoved into her hands by George's older brother. “I-I kno-know it is-isn’t much but-but…” She chuckles, taking the money.

“Thanks.” She says, or starts to say before an alarming shout erupts from the alley and the boy turns to his side, face filled with worry and sprinting down the alley.

“You have you apply Pressure, Edds!” On instinct, Beverly also bolts down the alley after the screams.

“Don't call me Edds! And I don’t know what to do! Would this be considered touching him?” A panicked voice calls.

“Stop w-w-w-worry ab-about tha-that and st-stop th-the blood!” 

She can’t believe her eyes, right before her Ben from soc is bleeding and these boys are fighting over whether or whether not it’s okay to touch his skin and stop the blood.

“Move it!” Her voice cuts through the air like a knife, she walks closer to Ben. “If you won’t help him I will!”

“Wooooah! No way! We got this!” A kid with blocky glasses yells at her. She catches all the boys share a look.

Are they seriously jealous she may be his soulmate? Why, do they even know her?

“Y-Y-Yeah! I-I-I got it…” The tallest boy grabs all the medical supplies from the shorter one, wincing before putting the gauze tightly around Ben's waist. A sigh of relief is heard from both of them.

The boy with extremely curly hair turns to her. “I’m Stan.” He introduces, smiling at her. “Um.. That’s Ben, Richie, and Eddie..” He points out each of the boys as he introduces them, even though they’re still screaming about Ben's wound.

“Beverly…” She says cautiously, eyeing each of them.

Jesus, knowing this group the world may kick  _ her _ ass...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, let me know what you think! Suggestions are also appreciated!


	3. Richie hates lying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Losers crew hangs out for the day, trying to get into the summer spirit. The day takes an unexpected turn though, and at night Richie has to deal with a heart wrenching phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are they allowed to be happy yet?  
> No?  
> Okay. ((Richie's parents are assholes, and there's a mention of under aged drinking.))

Chapter 3

_ Richie _

Richie waits at the bottom of the hill in the query for his friends, kicking at the pebbles on the ground. He’s never the one who’s early, let alone first. Normally he would walk down the pathway and find Stan ranting to Bill about some weird bird he saw and Bill trying to tell him that, “Stan t-t-t-that was a p-p-plastic bag.”

But nope, seems to day poor Richie had been left alone by his friends to wait in the scorching summer sun.

His friends may have chickened out, after all they did plan to cliff dive today. It wouldn’t surprise him if Eddie stays home, but all of them? That’s just rude.

“Hey, Richie, right?” He spun around to met face to face with Ben, the kid who basically owes Richie his life. He looks nervous, but who wouldn’t be when you’re standing in front of the best thing god has created?

“That’s my name! Didn’t think you’d come…” Richie pauses for a moment, wanting to come up with a nickname for the newest member of their club. “Bright Ben!” Ben smiles at the name, so Richie assumes it's okay to use.

“I wouldn’t miss it! I’m new here, so I want to try all the town has to offer!” He sets down a pretty heavy set backpack on the rocks, and Richie gives him a quizzical look.

“Uh, hey buddy, school ended yesterday. What’s with the huge backpack?” He walks over to it and pokes the cloth cautiously like he may get some sort of disease from it. He may, it’s called learning and it’s one of the things Richie is truly terrified of. 

“That’s just some… uh… stuff..” Ben looks away from Richie and rubs his neck. “Some town history. It's actually pretty interesting-” His thought was cut off by a loud screech, and Richie bursts into a fit of laughter.

“BILL YOU MADE ME TOUCH IT! WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?” Stan was tripping out of the forest, Big Bill behind him and laughing so hard Richie thought he may fall over.

“I-I-I’m sorry!” Bill says between hystrics of laughter. “I-I didn’t know poison ivy would just b-be there!” 

Richie only laughs harder. “Holy shit, you pushed Stan into a thing of poison ivy?” 

“N-No!” Bill argues. “H-H-He tripped over a rock I kicked in front of him!” Stan shoots Bill a glare, mouthing something to him. 

“I have some cream for that... “ Eddie says, dodging the leaves and tossing Stan a bottle of anti itch cream from his fanny pack. He has an entire hospital in there.

“Thank you!” Stan screams, rolling his eyes at Bill and applying the ointment. 

“Wow, seems Eddie Spaghetti brought just what I needed for his mom last night! You’re a little late, Eds.” Richie smiles at Eddie and wiggles his eyebrows, gaining a chuckle from Ben.

Eddie’s face grew a light grey, and he throws a pebble at Richie’s ankle. “Don’t call me that!” He shouts, stomping his foot like a child not getting what they wanted. 

“Al-alright g-g-guys.” Bill starts, pointing to the cliff they planned to dive off of. “L-lets not forget w-why we’re here.” Each of the boys exchange a look of fear before smiling in excitement. 

Well, except for Eddie.

 

Richie peers over the edge of the cliff, the 45 foot drop looking much more menacing now that they were all up here. “Sooo…” He lets out a low whistle. “Who's going first to make sure we’ll actually survive this?” Each of his friends don’t seem to terribly eager to jump off a cliff anymore, and Richie wasn’t either. 

“This was a stupid idea…” Eddie mumbles, his breath picking up by looking over the edge. “My mom is gonna have a fucking panic attack if she finds out.” Stan takes a step back from the edge.

“Yeah, I don’t know about this… based on the height we may have enough G’s of force to hit the water like concrete.” Stan shifts his feet, glancing at Bill with an almost softness in his eyes. Richie was taken aback. Was Stan more worried for Bills well being more than his own? When he was going to _ jump off a cliff _ , he was worried whether or not  _ Bill _ would be okay?

Richie chuckles to himself, that’s gay. 

“That’s not possible from this height, Stan.” Ben retorts, sending a small wave of relief through the group. “It’s going to hurt, but we won’t die. I… think.” Eddie takes a puff from his inhaler.

“Very convincing! Thank you so much, Ben!” Eds says with faux gratitude, backing further away from the cliff.

“Oh come on, if none of you guys will do it, I’m going.” The group turns to stare at a familiar girl, who happens to be standing in her underwear just like them. Richie can’t help but gawk, she’s a good looking girl after all. 

Beverly takes a running start and jumps off the cliff, much to Richie’s disbelief.

“What the FUCK?” He yells, watching her plummet into the water below. “Did we just get shown  up by a girl?” Richie asks, looking at all the other equally as shocked boys. 

“Now we have to jump, don’t we?” Eddie whines, the group nodding together. “God damnit!” He shouts in frustration, squeezing his eyes shut and jumping in after Beverly. Richie feels the need to grab his hair and pull him back, but it goes away at the sound of Eddie laughing when he comes back up from the water.

Richie whoops and cannonballs into the lake, hearing the others jump in with him. The cold water is a nice change from the summer heat, and as soon as he emerges more cold water hits his face.

Beverly is laughing joyously and splashing everyone, making Bill scream. “I got in first! The water is my domain!” 

“Fool!” Richie shouts. “It was my idea to jump in! I own the entire query!” Beverly rolls her eyes and grabs Richie’s shoulders, shoving his head under the water before pulling him up. 

She doesn’t notice everyone's mortified faces. “Nope! I rule here, always have, and I always will!” Richie doesn’t know how she hasn’t noticed she’s still  _ holding  _ onto him.

He doesn’t see colors, and maybe she’s only touching him because she’s found her soulmate already. “You’re touching my shoulders.” Richie snaps, diving under the water and coming back up again near Stan.

Beverly is obviously confused, before the realization hits her. “Oh, shit! Sorry…” A sly smile creeps up on her lips. “Didn’t know you couldn't handle a girl in your personal space without getting turned on.” The tense air within them instantly disappears. 

Richie gives his shit eating grin. “I like her. She’s allowed to stay.” 

 

After hours of swimming and splashing one another, plus Richie climbing on Beverly's shoulders and scaring the hell out of all their friends, they were all back on shore.

Stan picks up a stick and pokes Bill in the side. “Fuck you, you did this to me.” He motions to his leg, where a huge rash was breaking out. Bill cracks a smile.

“Holy hell, look.” Richie whispers, pointing to Beverly. She was laid out on her back, sunbathing and making her skin seem to glow. He looks at the others to make sure they’re not ignoring her, but everyone of them is staring at her, making RIchie feel a tad bit less creepy.

A feeling of jealousy crawls up Richie’s spine, making him look away and scowl. Beverly is someone else's soulmate, not his, and she’s the only decent girl in this town. Sure, the rumors aren't the most appealing thing, but Richie highly doubts any of them are true after getting to know her. The idea that some other girl is his soulmate makes his stomach churn, but should’ve known she wasn’t his soulmate. There are stories of being overly protective of your soulmate, even before you know who they are. He most definitely wasn’t freaking out when she jumped over a  _ cliff.  _

He glances back over at her, and she starts to sit up. Each boy looks away, and Richie grabs Ben's backpack. He won’t notice, he’s too embarrassed he almost got caught staring at Beverly sunbathing. 

“What’s this?” Richie asks, pulling out a post card. Ben's eyes widen and he grabs it back. 

“Shut up!” He hisses, shoving it back in his backpack. Richie pulls out a book. He can’t hold back a snort.

“History of Derry? Again, Bright Ben, school was over 24 hours ago.” Ben snatches the book away from Richie, opening it up.

“I know! But Derry has such a cool history! Did you know every 27 years people go missing, and the percentage is higher than any other city in the US? And don’t get me started on kids… kids are worse. Way worse.” Richie glances over at Bill, worry lining his face. At least Ben said missing, not… not dead..

“W-w-when was the last time it happened?” Bill stutters out, his voice quiet. Ben scratches his head, flipping through the book. The summer breeze seems to have turned cold, proven by Eddie shivering.

“Uh… 1957, if the book is right.” Beverlys eyes are glittering with excitement, while dread sets over the rest of the group. It’s been 27 years.

“That’s so cool! I never knew that, and I’ve lived here my whole life!” Ben clearly enjoys Beverly's praise, breaking out into a huge smile. 

“I’ve got more stuff back at my house if you wanna see!” Ben suggests, looking at everyone with excited eyes.

“No.” Eddie says quietly, but he’s only heard by Richie. Everyone else agrees to go, and soon they’re in Ben's small town house. Richie stares at the walls aligned with several news articles from different time periods. 

“Jesus man, you’ve been here for what? Two days?” Richie runs his hand along the old wrinkled paper, cringing at the terrifying pictures. 

“I told you, Derry’s unlike any town I’ve ever been in.” Ben is showing them the history, put in order and having small notes to the side. Richie can’t focus on that though, he can only hear Eddie’s breath picking up. It was subtle at first, but it’s getting more noticeable. 

“You okay, Eds?” Richie asks, trying to hide the concern in his voice. “I don’t think breathing is supposed to be that fast.” He cracks a small smile.

“I’m fine.” Eddie fidgets with the hem of his shirt, his head looking all around the room with the huge ‘ **MISSING’** posters from the 1800’s. “And don’t call me Eds…” He breathes, shrinking into himself.

Richie rolls his eyes and heavily sighs, ignoring the gnawing feeling he has to pull Eddie into a hug. “You can leave the room to calm down, Eds.” Richie offers.

“Don’ call me Eds!” He shouts, Stan giving them a stern look. Everyone else was intrigued to learn about their town's mysterious history, while Richie’s legs felt like jello. Half these kids have been forgotten by the world… just like RIchie may be-

“You can’t tell me to calm down then hyperventilate.” Eddie comments, smirking at Richie. 

That small smirk makes him feel a little safer and secure. No way would his Eddie Spaghetti forget him.

 

Richie covers his face with his hands, trying to block out the sound of his parents downstairs. It’s already been two hours and they’re still fighting over who drank the last bit of Fireball. Neither of them know the bottle is in his room, and he’s already tipsy.

He doesn’t care if he’s not supposed to drink until he’s at least twenty one, anyone with parents like his has surely gotten drunk once or twice while they’re fourteen. The sounds of screaming get louder, and Richie covers his ears with his pillow, curling up on his bed and just waiting for them to stop.

He’s not sure how much longer he can stay in his grey room before he loses his mind. Richie may joke about colors all the time, and how they’re probably uglier than Eddie’s mom, but he really wants to see them right now. Maybe when he does everything won’t seem so awful, especially when he’s home. Richie would be lying if he hadn’t envisioned holding hands with whoever his soulmate may be and just looking around at the world, taking it all in.

Hell, he’d just take one of the other Losers telling him how it was at this point, he knows he can’t count on his parents. They’re not even soulmates. Eddie has seen colors once, but that was in 3rd grade.

Richie doesn’t want to ask him about that, the thought of talking about it makes him sick. 

 

“Richie.” He tenses at his mothers deathly calm voice. That’s the fourth time she’s said his name this year, and he hates how he counts that. How he feels the need to keep track. “Richie, come here right now.” 

Fifth time. Richie reluctantly gets up and walks over to his mom, looking at the floor. God, what would the others think of this? He always puts on such a tough act, how would they react to him looking like a wounded animal before his mom probably screams at him?

He wouldn’t blame them if they laughed.

“Open your mouth.” She grabs his chin and forces him to look at her. He winces at how cold her hands are, and at the fire in her eyes. “I said, open your mouth.” He does as instructed, holding his breath.

She snarls at him, digging her nails in his face. “Breathe out.” Richie wants to cry, he wants to run out of the house and bike to one of his friends homes and stay there. He wants to know who his soulmate is so they can comfort him. With hesitation, he blows into his mothers face.

Richie naws at his lower lip, not caring if the bad habit will bust his lip open. He hears his mom sniff the air, searching for any evidence of Richie stealing her beloved alcohol. 

After what feels like decades she finally lets go of him, sighing in relief. “I’m sorry baby, I thought you may have taken something from me.” Without even a kiss on the forehead goodbye she turns and shuts the door in Richie's face, leaving him shaking. He’s never been more happy to hear the home phone in his room ring, quickly answering and just needing to hear someone else’s voice besides one of his parents.

“R-R-R-Richie o-o-o-oh god…” He instantly recognizes the voice as Big Bill, and he feels himself calm down before realizing that Bill is crying. Sobbing, even. “H-H-H-He w-was in the ba-basement and th-then the cl-clown a-and oh god I-I-I saw… g-grey his coat was g-g-rey Richie!” Bill nearly screamed into the phone, causing Richie to flinch. No one ever really came to him in case of emergency, he isn’t really the best at cheering someone up.

So that hints to this being something really serious if Bill is calling him instead of Stan. 

“Bill, calm down.” Richie bites his tongue so he won’t say something insensitive, Bill is clearly on the verge of having a panic attack if he’s not already having one. “What happened? I can’t make sense of sentence fragments  _ and _ a stutter.” He pinches his arm for saying that, also biting down on his lip, tasting the copper flow slowly into his mouth. 

“G-G-Georgie.” Bill squeaks, voice going quiet. “I saw G-G-Georgie in the-the basement a-and then…” A shaking sob ripples through the line, sending chills through Richie’s body. His heart pounds in his ears as he waits for his friend to recollect himself. “A-A fucking... a f-fucking cl-clown wa-was there an-and it had… Richie, i-it had color. I-it had color it was a color!”

He almost drops the phone at Bill letting out another wail. Bill couldn’t have seen color without touching his soulmate, it's impossible. There’s never been reports of that happening. “Deep breaths, for the love of god Bill, please breathe.” Richie’s concern shows through his tone and if Bill ever talks about this he’s going to chop his dick off. “I don’t need you passing out over the phone on me, okay?” 

After a few minutes of Bill just breathing and Richie counting to five with every in and out, he seems ready to talk again.

“H-H-H-He told me th-that I’d f-float too. I-I don’t know wh-what that means… an-and the colors… th-they were d-dull b-but br-bright. G-Georgie was covered i-i-in on-one of them. I-It was all I could s-s-s-see…” Richie’s entire body is shaking at this point, and he’s positive Bill’s is too. 

“Why’d you call me?” Richie asks, his voice breaking mid sentence. “Eds has seen colors before, I haven’t. Why would you call me about colors?”

“Because I-I-I k-know you’ve  _ f-f-felt  _ red.” Bill says softly, making Richie’s heart drop. Not at the fact that Bill identified the colors name, or knows that Richie has felt it before. It’s because that’s what color Bill saw, that’s the color that stood out so vividly he knew what color it was. That’s the color of blood.

“I-I-I know y-y-you know wh-what it me-means…” Richie feel like crying with Bill. There’s no jokes to make this better, and that’s all he knows how to do in a bad situation. Make jokes about what's happening. 

“R-R-Richie…” Bill's voice comes out as a croak. “I-I don’t think G-G-Georgie’s missing… H-H-He’s n-not, i-is he?” Tears well in Richie’s eyes. Whatever just happened to Bill in his basement, it just broke him. 

“He’s missing, Big Bill.” Richie lies, hoping his nickname for his friend may calm them both down. “That’s all. He’s missing, and we’re going to find him. Stan the man wanted him to have the first slice of cake at his jewish thing, remember?” He felt the tears roll off his cheeks and drip to the floor. “We can’t disappoint both Stan and Georgie, can we?” His voice is trembling, and he lets out a small laugh. “We can’t lie to Georgie, Bill…”

Bill’s breath seems to become more stable just at the same time Richie’s starts to pick up in speed. “Y-Y-You’re right… I-I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

Richie’s hands shake with each word he says. “Yeah, Big Bill. Promise.” 

As soon as he hangs up he falls to his knees and begins to cry, he hates lying. He hates lying to Georgie, about Georgie. He hates that George will never get the first slice of Stan's cake. He hates that Georgie is dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY BUT HEY I'M REALLY EXCITED FOR NEXT CHAPTER!


	4. Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan's been dealing with some feelings, and the rock war did not help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy chapter?

Chapter 4

_ Stanley _

In Stan's personal opinion, 6 am is way too early to be getting up on a wednesday in the summer. If it was Richie calling, he knows he would have instantly declined the offer to go to Beverly's house, but instead Bill’s frantic voice broke through the phone. Apparently something happened to Bev, and they needed to see her right away.

He doesn’t question why he’s scowling on the bike ride over with his friends, tuning out the conversation they’re having. He shrugs off his bad mood as being woken up  much too early, but a small voice in the back of his mind tells him it’s something else, and that he knows it too.

“Guys, guys over here!” Beverly waves her hands, looking as if she didn’t sleep. Everyone jumps off their bikes, eager to go greet their friend. Stan is the only one who decides to put the stand down. “Thank god you’re here…” She glances back and forth, seemingly checking to see if someone may be there.

“What i-i-is it Bev?” Bill takes a worried step toward her, and Stan flinches. Stupid hormones… He knows he wants Beverly to be his soulmate but he shouldn’t be so protective of her. 

_ It’s not her you’re protective of, Stanley _ .

He ignores that voice in his head, he knows it’s just telling him lies anyway. Of course it’s Beverley he’s protective of, who else would it be?

“I… Just, just come inside, okay?” She motions for them to follow her, but Eddie clears his throat, the entire group turning to him.

“Shouldn’t someone stay watch? In case some body comes…?” He nervously looks at all of them, his anxiety which would normally be a nuisance now making some sense. 

Stan points to Richie. “Great idea, trashmouth can stay out here.” The glare he gains makes a sly smile creep on his lips. He knows Richie hates being away from Eddie, no matter how much he denies it. They have a playful rivalry, and despite how many people think they despise each other, they’re very close friends. 

“What, why me?” Richie nearly shouts, Bill shushing him. He crosses his arms and pouts. “Why should I stay out here, scared I’ll be too manly and Bev will be upset I’m not her soulmate?” His signature smile graces them all, making Stan roll his eyes.

“Because you can distract them by doing what you do best, talking.” Stan snaps, following Beverly into her house. He can faintly hear, “It’s a gift!” which makes him chuckle. Sure it’s a gift, a gift that makes people run away screaming. 

 

They take a few turns in Beverly's house before they all stop and their mouths hang open in horror, staring at their bathroom door. Stan’s ears begin to ring, he can recognize the sound of Ben letting out a muffled scream and the puff of Eddie’s inhaler. 

Right in front of the five teens, a white door stood in their path. A white door with a disturbing  _ color  _ seeping out from under it.

“R-R-Red…” Bill says, his voice shaking as much as Stan’s body. “T-T-That’s red. T-T-The c-color…” An unsettling silence fell over them, Stan’s mind racing. Bill’s seen colors before? Are they all seeing the same thing? How are they seeing this?

Ben takes a few cautious steps toward the door, about to turn the handle before looking back at his friends aghast faces. “We can all see this, can’t we?” The nods that were supposed to make them all feel slightly calmer only made Eddie whimper and Stan’s heart drop.

“Ben, you don’t have to open it…” Beverly says softly, but Ben doesn’t hear her. He turns the doorknob, and the entire bathroom is completely covered in red. The thud next to him has to have been Eddie, but Stan can’t bring himself to look. He’s completely entranced in the color he sees, and knowing he never wants to see it again already.

Bill makes his way into Stan's peripheral vision, snapping his fingers. “S-S-Stan… I-In for four a-and out for s-s-seven. Like Eddie, o-o-okay?” Stan just nods, focusing his sight on Bills grey shirt. 

“I didn’t know how to describe it to you guys…” Beverly's voice is still distant, but slowly sounding more and more like she’s in the same room as Stan does the breathing exercises. “Oh god, Stan… Eddie… Shit I’m so sorry. I can go get some water, hold on..” Eddie whispers a no, stopping her in her tracks.

“Whatever is on your walls…” Eddie takes another breath from his inhaler. “We need to clean it up.” Ben walks over to Eddie, sitting down next to him and talking him down in a calm even voice. 

“My dad couldn’t see it.” Beverly shivers, hugging herself. “He thought I was crazy.” Bill walks into the bathroom, giving Stan a concerned glance every few seconds.

“I g-g-guess th-then we’re all c-crazy.” He touches the wall, instantly flinching away and stumbling back. “But E-Eddie is right… w-we need to c-c-clean this up.”

Stan moves his fingers, stopping himself from dissacoitingating. “It’s only going to make you feel worse.” It take shim a moment to realize he’s said that, and not one of the others. His focus moves to Beverly, who nods and grabs cleaning supplies for them all.

“You don’t have to help.” Stan sees Bev offer to Eddie, who just grabs a sponge and walks into the room covered with red. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t the a little proud of Eddie in that moment.

 

The stains aren’t too difficult to take care of, Stan just needing to wring out his cloth every once in awhile. No, the thing that bothers him the most is that Bill refuses to leave Beverly's side. He knows he’s not the only one feeling this way, seeing Ben's scowl when he looks over at the two. Stan checks in on Eddie as often as possible, wanting to distract himself from the obvious chemistry Bill and Bev have. 

“Stan, do you think maybe we’re better off not seeing colors?” He almost doesn’t even render the question coming from Eddie’s mouth. 

“What do you mean?” He looks at the small boy, worried about if he maybe needs to get out of the house.

“Well, don’t you think it’s odd the first time we see colors we freak out? Maybe all colors are like that, and make us freak out… and the only reason we want to keep seeing them is because people like the thrill of seeing something that terrifying.” He shrugs, not noticing Stanley's dropped jaw. “My mom said colors made her miserable, and my soulmate would probably be someone who doesn't even love me anyway.” His face stays completely unreadable, making it difficult for Stan to understand why he’s asking this. Stan is good at reading people, not helping them. 

He’s silent for what feels like years until he’s able to speak. “It’s probably different for everyone…” He mutters, averting his eyes. “Soulmates may just not be for certain people, I don’t know…” All he gets in response is a little hum from Eddie, who stands up and takes the bucket of red to dump out in the sink. “Why do you ask, you feeling okay?” Stan look up at him, this isn’t too out of character for Eddie but it's far enough from how he normally acts that Stan is worried.

“It’s because I know who my soulmate is, I met her once, but she moved away. And… well I met her again and we shook ands but… I didn’t see any color.” Eddie looks at Stan with tears in his eyes. “Does that mean I’m broken? Should I get new medication? When I saw colors I started to cry, and I wasn’t happy. I was terrified.” Stan signs for Eddie to breathe, knowing when he gets way too down he sometimes can’t hear past his own thoughts. 

Stan communicates in sign, he was one of the only Losers who learned it for Eddie whenever he had an asthma or panic attack. “Calm down, Eddie. You’ll figure it out, as you grew up your souls probably weren't compatible anymore. Just don’t worry for now.” He knows that Eddie understood what he signed at the nod of his head and the soft, “Thank you…” that followed. 

Stan picks glances over at Bill and Beverly, who are extremely close to one another now. The rage builds up in his stomach, but he pushes it back down. So what if they’re soulmates, then Bill will get to see colors! He should be happy for his friend, not envious and angry about how close he is to another person.

Still, he turns his head and walks out of the house. The bathroom is clean anyway, it doesn’t matter if he stays in there. 

Richie sees him and raises an eyebrow, smiling. “What took so long, all decided to make out with Beverly and see what you’re missing?” Stan scowls, and Richie’s face falls. “Shit dude, sorry. It was just a joke.”

“It wasn’t fucking funny.” Stan growls, sitting down on the front porch. “We didn’t make out with anybody, instead Eddie had an asthma attack and couldn't breathe and Bill is all over Bev.” His voice is cold, cutting through the afternoon air like a knife. He hates how upset he is about Bill and Bev, but that's not what Richie picks up on.

“Wait, Eds had an asthma attack?” Stan nods. “Is he okay? Do I need to go in there and go get him?” He can’t help but smile, Eddie is the only person who can easily make Richie show an actual emotion that could help someone. 

“No, he’s fine. We talked and he calmed down, don’t worry.” Richie’s frame relaxes, and Stan see’s a perfect opportunity. “God damn, whenever Eddie finds his soulmate she’s gonna think you’re jealous of her one day considering how much you cling to Eddie.” 

A could crosses Richie's face. “Shut up, Stanley. It’s gonna be the same way with you when Bill finds his soulmate.” For some reason those words come as a stab in the gut to Stan, who's’ now grimacing as much as Richie.

“Woah, what’s with the sour mood?” Ben’s voice asks, the sound of a door shutting following. 

“Y-Yeah, what’s up?” Stan looks back at his friends, who all look rather worried about the quiet Richie and angered Stanley. 

“Nothing.” Stan gets up and brushes off his pants, where some dirt had collected. “Richie was just being an ass about how long it took us.”

“You guys were in there for an hour!” Richie adds, making their act more believable. It helps he was actually pissed it took them an hour. “What even happened?”

Everyone shares a knowing look at Beverly looks Richie dead in the eyes. “We’ll tell you later. For now we’re going to go to the fair that’s in town to calm down.” She turns to Eddie, smiling softly. “Sound okay?”

Eddie glares at her, fiddling with his hands. “I’m not a baby, I can handle myself. I’ve been having attacks since I was eight.” He snaps, Beverly's smile fading.

“Sorry…” She says softly, looking away from him. Stan catches both Ben and Bill give Eddie a sharp glare, and tension rises in the air.

“If we don’t get going all the funnel cake will be gone.” Stan says quickly, not wanting their new friends to think the group is always like this. The passive aggressiveness between them all was nearly suffocating, and it didn’t change as they bike in silence towards the town center. 

“S-Shit!” Bill yells, his bike tipping to the side. He scrambles off of it, letting the metal hit the ground with a loud clang. The others quickly follow in suit, Bill being the unofficial leader.

Stan jogs up behind him. “What is it? Bill, what’s wrong?” Bill only points to a bike by what he knows is Henry's car. “Wait, is that-”

“The homeschooled kids bike!” Eddie yells, trying to run faster. The Losers don’t know the kid personally, but they know he’s a victim of Henry Bowers and his gangs sadistic bullying. 

“You mean Mike?” Beverly shouts in panic, dodging around the leaves and sticks of the forest. “He helps out around town a lot! You don’t think…?”

Bill almost trips several times, and Stan has to refrain himself from grabbing him. “W-W-We do-don’t think! W-We know!” Bill screams, the forest clearing into a wheat field where shouts and laughter can be heard from a small distance away.

As they make it into a clearing, they see Henry and his friends hitting who they now know is Mike with rocks, shoving his head into raw meat on the ground. 

“Hey!” Richie screams, attracting their attention. Stan will give trashmouth this, he’s fearless. 

“Well look here, seems the town fags have come to save you!” Henry shouts, grabbing Mike by his collar. “Pathetic.” He snarls, spitting in Mike's face.

“Leave him alone!” Beverly screams, her voice strong. “Let him go, you fucking coward!” They all turn to look at her, and their disgusting sneering smiles edge closer to the group.

“Oh? Boys, has she not blown all you yet? All you gotta do is ask nice enough, trust me.” His eyes cloud over, his stare directed exactly at Bev. “Though don’t be shocked when you don’t see colors, her dad already-”

A rock hits Henry square in the forehead, knocking him down. Stan looks at Bill, whose face is showing pure rage.

Richie picks up several rocks, preparing to throw them all. “ROCK WAR!” He declares, before being hit in the face with a rock thrown at him. 

Stan throws a few sharp rocks at them, mainly ducking in fear from all the blunt objects heading toward him. He sees Mike scrambling across the small stream to them, throwing rocks that he can grab at anyone who tries to touch him while he’s down.

Bill clutches his nose, dark grey dripping through his fingers. Stan’s eyes widen, and he starts to throw with enough force to break their teeth. Soon, Henry Bowers and his friends were all running off, Mike laying on his back and taking in gulps of air.

“Go blow your dad you mullet wearing asshole!” Richie laughs in victory, a concerned Eddie frantically asking to see his head. 

Without thinking, Stan stumbles over to Bill, his eyes only seeing the grey seeping out of his nose and flowing past his bright smile.

“Bill, fuck! Are you okay? Is it broken?” Stan grabs ahold of Bills face, and he almost vomits. 

It’s not because Bill is hurt, but it's because red is coming out of his nose. Red touching peach skin and brown eyes staring at Stan in disbelief. Stan lets go of Bill in terror, the color fading and the world returning to grey. No, no this is wrong. His soulmate can’t be Bill, it has to be a  _ girl.  _ He’s been taught that since he was born, how can his soulmate be a boy?

Bill’s face suggests he’s having the same dilemma, wondering if he should be happy or revolted by their situation.

Everyone else is welcoming Mike into the group and making sure he’s okay, while Stan is on the verge of tears. It has to have been a mistake. 

_ You know it’s not. _

None of the Losers know that in the field Stan knows now is a yellowish tint, a clown with a devilish smile is watching and dining on a snack. They don’t know it’s enjoying this because it can so easily use their soulmates against them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy chapter!


	5. Hatred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie is not a big fan of fairs, projectors, or finding his soulmate. Today the world decided to be a huge fan of those things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was kinda happy last time??? Let's Fix That

Chapter 5

_ Eddie _

Eddie watches Stan and Bill with a new interest, his two friends acting differently after the rock war. It’s probably nothing, but he can’t help but think something happened back there. He just wish he knew, though no one in the group tells him much anyway. He’s sure they already trust Mike more than the fragile Eddie who can have a break down any minute.

God he hates that his friends sometimes treat him exactly like his mom does. He goes out to get away from her, not for some kid to call him dumb nicknames and tease him none stop.

Though he’s not necessarily complaining about that.

The town fair slowly got closer, the rides that Eddie are positive will malfunction and kill someone now towering over him. He only has one memory of this yearly hell that visits and it’s not a good one. Of course none of the other Losers know, they never bother to ask why he needs to use his inhaler more at this fair.

“I’m not getting on any rides.” Eddie states, making it clear he refuses to leave the safe ground. 

“Come on Eds! You never go on the rides, you have to try them!” Richie rides closer to him, almost knocking his bike into Eddie’s.

“Don’t call him Eds, Richie. And he doesn’t need to get on the rides.” Stan defends before Eddie can even think of a smart comment. “Leave him alone for once, okay?” Eddie makes a mental note that Stan is not in a good mood.

“What the hell Stan-” Richie snaps out, Bill's bike ramming into his to cut off his sentence. Eddie has to swerve so Richie won’t hit him too, not wanting to start a domino effect.

“S-S-Shut up R-Richie.” Mike glances at them then over to Eddie, raising his eyebrow. He just smiles and shrugs, silently cursing his friend group for already leaving a bad impression.

“Alright, you wild beasts, we’re here.” Beverly teases, parking her bike. “Try not to run over one another.” Ben snickers at her comment, but it's obvious he likes her. Just like Richie, Stan, and Bill like her.

Why does Eddie never like the girls his friends always are drooling over? He didn’t even like Andrea, and she was a potential soulmate. There has to be something wrong with him, that’s why mom has him on so many different medications.

He feels his inhaler being stuffed into his mouth, someone else pressing the button and injecting the medicine into his mouth. “Breathe, Eds.” Richie sternly instructs. Eddie didn’t realize his breathing had become shallow while he was wrapped up in his thoughts, and gratefully takes a few puffs from his inhaler. 

“Sorry…” He mumbles out, shrugging away from Richie. If he was crazy, he would’ve said that Richie looked hurt at him moving away.

Good thing he’s not crazy, he already has enough shit to deal with. Especially when Stan has to learn sign language to be able to talk with him while he’s having an attack. 

“Just remember that air is very important to your survival!” Richie flashes a smile, Eddie's stomach gets a weird feeling at his smile, but he’s sure it’s just the terrifying rides.

“Hey, I know that… uh…” Mike looks at Eddie and lets out a deep sigh. He points to him. “That one doesn’t want to ride anything, but think maybe the rest of us could at least ride the ferris wheel?” A few murmurs of agreement spread throughout the group, dread settling over Eddie as he looks at what is basically a death wheel. At least they’re not forcing him to go on the ride.

“E-Eddie, i-is that o-okay? Y-You could wait outside of t-the ride exit!” Bill suggests, giving Eddie the look he’s grown to hate so much. The look that tells him that he’s a child. Instead of snapping at Bill like he wants, he just smiles and nods.

Richie waves to him and he watches his friends get in line for a death trap, already seeing the rusted areas of the ride. 

Eddie didn’t think this through, now he’s stuck alone with his thoughts and the memory of what happened at the Nielbolt house yesterday. The Leper was so disgusting, it basically reeked of diseases. Yet Eddie was drawn to it because of a certain smell at first. The smell of old alcohol and laundry detergent. It was… homely.

His mind refuses to accept the truth, that the scent that lured him in was Richie, how Richie always smelt despite trying a new brand of soap or even putting on perfume.

He doesn’t want to believe it, what would it mean if he liked his friend so much he’d blindly just follow where he thinks he might be? That isn’t just friendship, because if it was Bill or anyone else he would’ve known something was up, none of them would have been in that house. 

_ Remember darling, soulmates aren’t real. The colors? They’re terrible, and if I know you’ve ever seen colors I’m getting you a new prescription. I know that one girl already made you see a glimpse of them. Trust me darling, they mess up your mind. Make you see things that aren’t real so when reality comes crashing down you’re broken. _

Eddie wipes his eyes, the words his mother is always telling him echoing in his mind. Everyone is always so excited to meet their soulmate, but when it happens to Eddie he knows he’s going to do what he did when he met a potential soulmate. He’s going to cry, because he’s grown enough now that his true soulmate is the only one where he can see colors when he touches them. He just wishes he didn’t have a soulmate, so that he could live the world in black, white and grey. 

Colors are scary, red is terrifying. He doesn’t think any of his friends in that house want to see colors now, not after seeing that. For Eddie it was like the extra push he needed to make an important decision.

Whenever he meets his soulmate, who ever it is, he’s cutting that person out of his life. She’s not going to be apart of the life he’s going to life, because Eddie wants to live a life void of color. A life of familiarity. 

He shakes out of his thoughts, not needing to hyperventilate in front of hundreds of strangers. Eddie looks up at the ferris wheel, seeing Richie wave enthusiastically down at him. Mike gives a small wave, and Bev almost jumps out of her seat in excitement when she sees Eddie is finally looking at them.

The worries wash away at the sight of his friends smiling at him with love and a hint of concern. They may be assholes sometimes, but they care about him.

 

“I can’t believe you tried to steal his fucking instrument.” Eddie rubs his temples, the group sitting in a circle after spending good few hours at the fair. Having fun and also trying to figure out these missing kids cases. They couldn’t find any pattern.

“I can’t believe you thought you saw a color in Beverly’s bathroom.” Richie replies back, happily licking his ice cream. Bill told him what happened after much prodding, and now they're having an almost truth circle kind of deal.

“Hey! We did see that!” Ben interjects, glaring at Richie. “This and the fact that we were in shock is the exact reason we didn’t want to tell you!” Richie just laughs.

“Give me some more proof and then I’ll believe you!” Everyone goes quiet at that, even Mike who wasn’t even in the house with them. “See, that’s what I thought-”

“I saw Georgie and a-a c-clown covered-in red, re-remember Richie? I-I told you about this.” Bill looks hurt, but Eddie’s attention is taken by Ben speaking up.

“I was being chased by a headless guy in the library, than it turned into a clown.” Eddie couldn’t believe his ears.

“I saw it too.” Mike looks down, gripping the bench so tight that his knuckles were turning white. 

Eddie fumbles with the collar of his shirt, not daring to make eye contact with anyone. “I saw it too. At the Nielbolt house…”

“I didn’t see a clown, or maybe I did… I don’t know.” Stan adds in. “It was this… this woman. She was just, standing over me and…” He shivers, earning a worried look from Bill and Beverly moving in to pat him on the back before flinching away. She’s still getting used to how this group works.

“Was she hot?” Richie asks, and Eddie's face turns into a scowl. Stan looks as if he may cry any moment.

“No Richie! She wasn’t hot!” He shouts, hitting Richie’s shoulder much to everyone’s surprise. He fixes his icy cold glare on the group. “Oh stop gaping, if God made us soulmates I’d convert to atheism.” Stan rolls his eyes. 

“B-Ben... d-do you think th-that this ha-has to do with the disappearances?” Bill looks hopefully at Ben, who for once doesn't have an answer. 

“It may just be… a coincidence?” The words look like they feel sour coming out of his mouth, Mike shaking his head and Ben's statement.

“My grandpa thinks there is something seriously wrong with this town, and that's it’s linked to one thing. Something bigger than all of us.” He serves the fearful grey eyes in front of him. “I think he may be right.”

“The wellhouse…” Ben whispers, his voice almost faint enough to go unnoticed. 

“The w-what?” Bill asks, edging for Ben to go on. Eddie strains his ears to listen, wanting to get to the bottom of this as well.

“People… Children reported seeing color at the wellhouse in the 1800’s, when they hadn’t found their soulmate and all that. A Lot of people were reported missing there too…” Ben averts his gaze from the group, and Eddie starts to shake. If there’s something that can make you see color when you’re not with your soulmate, this gives him more of a reason to never find his..

Bill stands up, making his way over to their bikes. “We’re go-going to my house.” The group only exchanges one questionable glance before following him.

 

Ben, Mike, and Bill set up the map while Richie and Eddie get the projector working. Beverly stands guard at the door to make sure that Bill’s dad isn’t coming.

“Al-alright Bev, G-Go ahead and shut the garage door.” Bill sets up behind the projector, ready to roll the film. Once the room is inclosed in mainly darkness, everyone sits down in front of the screen. Eddie already has a terrible feeling about this.

“S-S-So this i-is m-my house.” Bill points to an X the projector has shined on the wall. “A-And this is w-where t-they found blood on the day Georgie disappeared.” A new X shines on the map.

“Alright, now for where we all saw the clown.” Mike says, clicking the projector a few times. “It all lines up relatively near one area. And that’s where…” Mike pauses, looking at Eddie. “Eddie?” He nods. “Eddie saw It.”

“A-And b-b-based o-on what w-we know about th-the other ki-kids disappearance…” Bill points to the map, O’s lining all around it.

“What does that tell us about anything?” Beverly asks, leaning against the wall. 

“T-Those are all s-sewer drains. T-that’s where It lives.” Bill explains, a chill crawled up Eddies spine. He quickly takes a huff from his inhaler, evening his breathing.

“Bill, maybe slow it down, okay?” Richie asks with a harsh bite, moving to sit next to Eddie. “You okay?” Eddie nods.

“So the wellhouse is the Nielbolt house-” Mike’s conclusion is cut off by the projectors sliders moving, showing pictures of family trips that the Denborough have taken.

Georgie was in every single picture.

Stan rushes over to Bill, grabbing his shoulder and trying to pull his eyes away from the projector. As he does that, Bill lets out a scream, shoving Stan so hard the he falls to the concrete and scraped his elbow. 

Eddie is screeching for someone to stop the film, and Richie is with Bev trying to get it unjammed or to stop doing whatever the hell it’s doing. 

It eventually stops on a picture of Bill, Georgie, at their parents and what looks to be a wedding. The sobbing and screaming of the room comes to a brief stop, Eddie catching his breath and being frozen in place.

Than it starts to move again. The projector zooming in on Bill smothers face to show it wasn’t his mom at all, it was a clown. The same clown so many of them had seen.

“TURN IT OFF, GOD TURN IT THE FUCK OFF!” Eddie wails, hiding his face in his shirt. Beverly kicks over the projector, turning the screen on its side and making the projector just show a flat grey. 

Eddie is sobbing into the cloth of his shirt, soaking it. He can’t breathe, the walls are closing around him. He can’t-

“HOLY SHIT!” Mike screams out, causing Eddie to look up. 

He wishes he didn’t.

On the screen, the clown was slowly running toward the camera, toward them. It got faster and faster, until a giant hand reached out of the projection. 

The screams started again. Beverly and Mike are trying to open the garage door, throwing things at it and lifting with their hands. Ben is banging on the projector, trying to make it stop. Stan is kicking at the garage door while Bill is completely frozen.

And Richie grabs for Eddie out of instinct, wanting to pull him away from what may kill him. The clowns grey face erupts into color, making all the more terrifying with it’s red hair, it’s yellow eyes, and it’s obviously blood stained mouth.

Eddie elbows Richie in the nose, possibly breaking it. He doesn't care right now. As soon as he lets go the world is plunged back into the safe familiar black, grey, and white. Beverly get s the garage door open and Eddie makes a run for the outside, falling to his knees and gulping in air.

“W-WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” Stan clutches onto the grass, the outside world feeling like a safe haven to all the Losers now.

“I-It.” Bill replies without a hint of emotion. “T-That was wh-what has my brother. W-We have to go-”

“NO!” Richie protests, holding his nose. “No fucking way! It’s summer, Bill! Get that through your thick skull!” 

Bill stalks over to Richie and towers over him. “I-I-If someone says its s-s-summer one more f-FUCKING TIME!” Eddie cringes away from Bill stone of voice, his body shaking with sobs.

He hops onto his bike, Ben and Beverly yelling after him to stop, to get back here. 

Eddie looks at Richie, who’s defiantly bleeding and also glaring into Eddies soul. He’s never seen him that mad before, and he’s kinda scared of how he looks right now. 

“Forget to take your meds, Eddie? Or maybe you need a new prescription.” Richie spits, making Eddie’s vision hazy with tears. 

“We need to go after him.” Stan says, scrambling to get onto his bike. Eddie stays in the grass, speechless as he stares at Richie with his mouth hanging open. He knew his soulmate would hate him, but his soulmate being a boy and that boy hating him hurts a lot worse.

 

If only he knew that the anger and resentment he’s also starting to feel toward the other boy makes someone watching from a blue car smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY HELL YEAH


	6. Broken Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike has had a crazy day, and by the looks of it he's not going to get a break quiet yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE MIKE WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL

**Chapter 6**

_ Mike _

Today has been utter hell. He first gets assaulted by Henry Bowers, then a giant clown crawls out of a projection, and now they’re going to what the kid in the glasses refers to as the crackhead house.

Not to mention that two of the kids in the group, who seemed to be good friends, now are avoiding one another at all costs. He knows one of them broke the other's nose, but something else had to have happened for them to be acting like this. 

“We need to catch up to Bill!” The girl- Beverly- shouts at the boys trailing behind her. Mike doesn’t know why he’s still following them, but they all saw relatively the same thing and his gut feeling is telling him he needs to help them.

“What does it look like we’re doing?” Someone with curly hair yells back at her. God, Mike is terrible with names.

They eventually do arrive at the Niebolt house, the one place Mike’s grandpa has told him time and time again to steer clear from. “Holy shit…” He mumbles under his breath, the run down home looking very much out of place in the otherwise nice neighborhood. 

The tall scrawny boy they followed here stood in the yard, his fists balled at his side as the tall grass sways around him. “I th-thought you w-w-weren’t g-going to follow.” He hisses at them, not even turning to face the group. 

“Well, we’re not gonna let you die in this place, Bill.” Mike looks over at who spoke, and he remembers the boy's name being Ben.

Bill does turn around, his face pale with either rage or fear. Mike can’t pinpoint which emotion it is or if it’s both. “If you c-came here to s-stop me from going into this house, y-you’re not going too.” Mike stares down Bill, waiting for his grey eyes to fall on his before he opens his mouth to speak.

“Yes we are. Walking in that house is suicide, we have no idea what’s in it.” He keeps his voice leveled and calm, not wanting to feed into however Bill is already feeling. No one in this group will dare go into that house with him, and if this is truly where this things home may be, Bill is going to die.

“It’s easier than walking into my own house.” Bills voice is choked, and the words hit Mike like a bullet. “Seeing my brothers white room now dressed in a light grey has already killed me enough.” Soft tears roll off of his cheeks, but his stance is still tall and intimidating. “So I’m going in this fucking house.”

Bill makes his way toward the front door, which has been weathered away from Derrys harsh storms. 

“He didn’t stutter once…” Glasses kid says,(He thinks his name is Rich or something along those lines) his voice having a trace of awe in it. Mike thinks on it for a moment before realizing Bill  _ didn’t _ stutter, Mike hardly noticed he had a stutter in the first place.

“Wait!” Beverly calls out, Bill stopping in his tracks. “None of us  _ want  _ to go in that place with you, but dammit some of us have too! At least two of us!” She starts rummaging through the grass, picking up random sticks. She holds them out afterwards, all the sticks looking to be the same length. “Pick one.”

Everyone did as told, Bill waiting patiently at the front porch. Mike’s stick was short, but he looks at everyone else's and sees that Eddies and glasses kid have the shortest.

“I’m not going in there with Richie.” Eddie instantly snaps, glaring at Beverly. She looks shocked by this, same with the rest of the group. Well, expect for Richie. 

“If mental illness kid is going in there count me out. He broke my fucking nose for God's sake!” Richie’s eyes are lit with anger, opeing his mouth as if he was going to continue his explanation before closing it, and Mike knows there’s something more to their sudden hatred for eachother now.

He puts his hand up, gaining everybody's attention. “My stick is the second shortest compared to Richie. I’ll go in.” Mike smiles slightly at Eddie. “Looks like you’re stuck with me instead.” Arms wrap around his waist, Beverly thanking him for not letting the two idiots fight for 3 hours.

 

The moment Mike shuts the door, the dusty reality of the Nielbolt house sends shivers up his spine, every instinct in his body screaming for him to run. It looks too old, too much like its been burned…

He wipes the slight mist already gathering in his eyes just at the thought, batting away cobwebs and keeping his hearing sharp for any movement that isn’t the small group he’s with.

“Is there even a basement to this house?” Eddie asks, keeping relatively close to Mike. He wonders if this house would look more welcoming in color, if Alexia was here maybe what looks to be burned wood would actually just be a silly paint job. He also wonders exactly what Eddie just asked, houses with basements aren’t very common in Derry. 

“I do-don’t know, maybe the well isn’t i-in the basement.” Bill tears down a spider web, shining his flashlight in a living room of some sorts. Mike walks in behind Bill, seeing nothing that would give any hint to what they've been experiencing the past few days. 

Eddie walks over to the corner of the room, ripping a thing of paper from the webs and shoving it in his almost non existent pockets. 

“Bill, are you sure this is the right house?” Mike doubts himself, maybe he his conclusion was wrong and he lead the entire group astray…

“N-No, this has to be the house. I-It lines up with t-the old map.” Bill is either trying to convince Mike or himself, and Mike thinks it's just stirring up even more doubt.

“HELP!” A shrill voice shrieks from the upstairs. Eddie jumps and grabs onto the nearest pole to steady himself, and Mike bolts for the stairs without second thought. He doesn’t care that they could break under his feet at any moment, the pure terror in that voice reminded him too much of that night. Instincts are completely taking over, and they're telling him to save whoever is up there.

Thundering footsteps follow behind him, giving him slight comfort his friends are also coming up and he won’t be alone. Mike sharply turns the corner, seeing a girl about their age laying on the floor with red all around her. 

He doesn’t know what the other sees, but he see’s Alexias perfect face for a split second then another scream erupts from the girls mouth, her now morphing into the face that's been on so many missing posters.

“H-Hold on! W-w-we’ll help you!” Bill starts toward her, and she lets out one last cry for help as her body drags across the wooden floor faster than should be possible.  The red fades to a dark grey, leaving all three boys shaking in place.

Mike storms into the room, shaking off the shock as fast as it came. No one is in the room, and there’s no sign someone was ever in that room. “Where are you?” Mike cries out into the emptiness of the house, Bill sprinting up behind him and turning over the little furniture the room holds in an attempt to find the girl. 

“Guys…” Eddie’s voice is faint, but most definitely still there, and scared. Mike turns just in time to see a hand slithering around the staircase handle, and see’s the door slam shut without anything pushing or pulling on it. 

“E-Eddie!” Bill rams himself against the door, trying to open it with all his strength. Mike quickly joins, kicking at the now locked door in hopes to breaking the old wood. He hears a crack, and his eyes light up with hope that he’s cracked the door.

The hope turns to uncontrollable fear as he hears Eddie scream louder than they just heard that girl. 

“FUCK!” Mike shouts, picking up a chair and throwing it against the door, almost hitting Bill. Tears prick the edge of his eyes. “We have to get it open!” Bill relentlessly pounds and scratches at the door, starting to cry. 

They both share the same thought in their mind, that Eddie Kaspbrak just died and they heard his final screams. 

“Mikey~” A voice behind him teases, the heart warming yet soul crushing nickname making him turn around to see Alexia staring at him with a warm smile. “You promised to come visit, remember?”

Mike does remember. He knows he told her last time she was able to come into town he would find a way to see her again, to be able to hold her hand and see her striking green eyes again.

He takes a few mindless steps closer to his soulmate, the sound so Bill screaming and hitting the door getting further and further away. Freezing cold hands seized his wrists, throwing him into a side room and slamming the door being her. 

“You lied to me.” She, no,  _ It  _ hisses at him, it’s face dripping off and the edges of its face becoming burnt as its dress is lit on fire. Agonizing screams surround Mike, he covers his ears and lets out one of his own. 

The previously shut door swings open, Bill standing at the frame holding a rotting chair over his head. “G-GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!” He throws the chair and It, scrambling over to Mike and helping to his feet so they can run out of the room. They’re then presented with three doors, and Mike doesn’t even read what they say before bursting through the one on the left.

He sees his mother and father’s corpses hanging next to that girl, who’s entire bottom half is missing. He doesn't turn back, instead he runs between them, needing to get out of this Hell house.

“MIKE!” Bill calls after him, reluctantly chasing after him and almost falling down the weak stairs. “MIKE W-WAIT!” If Bill is going to say anything else, his words have been held in his throat just like Mike’s. 

Anyone would fall silent in fear at the sight of a clown contorting it’s face and threatening to eat Eddie’s, who they thought who may have been dead, arm.

The clown turns to them, an inhumanly wide smile spreading across its face. “Well hiya boys!” It’s voice is distorted, and Mike swears if it had just a slight more human tone to it he’d probably think it was a normal person.

“Y-Y-You’re not real…” Bill mutters, puffing out his chest in an attempt to seem less afraid than he was. Mike can only nod in agreement, his mouth completely dry.

The clown looks like it may cry, its face falling. “Am I not real enough for you, Billy?” It turns its electric yellow eyes on Mike. “You too?” The wide smile returns to It’s face, It’s neck leaning too far than what should be possible. “I was real enough for Georgie!” 

It lets out a cold laugh at the sight of Bill’s face changing from hidden fear to anger. Mike steps back, wanting to run away from this scene. He glances to Eddie on the floor, who’s arm is most defiantly broken. He’s also having trouble breathing…

It moves in an alien way toward Bill and Mike, unhinging its jaw as if It was a snake and showing off rows of teeth. 

“GET AWAY FROM THEM!” Beverly screams, shoving a metal pole right into It’s head, making It stumble away from the boys. It let’s out a small wail of pain, then a loud and maniacal laugh. It turns It’s head with an odd amount of strength, the pole protruding from Its head slashing into Ben's stomach.

Mike scrambles to his friend's side, not caring that he’s silently sobbing. He sees Richie rush over to Eddie's side and Beverly holding him back by the neck of his shirt.

Stan is openly weeping, cowering in a corner and staring not at It, but at Bill, who still hasn’t moved away from where he is. 

“Mmmm!” It hums, taking jagged steps towards the group. “Delicious fear!” It slurs, the unnaturally yellow eyes in Its skull moving to focus on the kids despite the metal rode in It’s skull.

“I-I’m gonna snap your arm into place!” Mike hears Richie shout, worry filling his voice. 

“DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME!” Eddie screams violently at him, Mike glancing behind his shoulder to make sure they were okay. He wasn’t going to let his new friends die today. 

They saved his life, and now it’s his turn to save theirs. 

“WE’RE NOT SCARED OF YOU!” Mike yells through clenched teeth, attracting It’s deathly cold stare.

“I don’t like liars, Mikey!” The clown teases, coming so close to Mike his nose is almost touching the monster's own. “Nor did your parents, though I guess that’s why a fire took them away! The world has a it’s own ways of dealing with hypocrites!” It spits in his face with every word, but Mike doesn't move away. He doesn’t even flinch.

Just as the beast tries to open it’s mouth to sink its teeth into Mike’s unmoving body, It’s body jerks back. Mike takes a cautious step closer to the group.

It keeps moving almost like a glitched out arcade game to the door way in which Bill stands, not looking happy about abandoning such a feast. Bill doesn’t run out of the way, all he does is politely move to the side and allows the creature to slither back into the darkness of the house. 

Instantly after that they all make a break for the front door, Stan being the first one back into the fresh summer air. This was the second time today Mike had escaped a building and wanted to kiss the grass with joy. 

 

Bill rushes out of the house moments later, a smile plastered on his face. The smile fades at the sight of Eddies mothers car pulling up, grabbing her son and pulling him by his good arm into her car. 

Mike stays silent throughout the exchange, wanting to scream at her for what she’s accused Beverly of doing. As her car drives off into the distance, Mike looks at his group of trembling, sobbing, and angry friends.

“W-We know where the well it!” Bill exclaims, his eyes gleaming. “A-And now w-w-we know what to e-expect! S-so next time-” 

“There isn’t going to be a next time, Bill!” Stan’s voice cracks midway into the sentence, motioning to all the kids, some of which who are bleeding. 

“Yeah!’ Richie grabs Bill’s shirt. “Eddie broke his arm, Bright Ben over here is bleeding Hamburger Helper, and we all almost died!” Bill glares down at the smaller boy, and Mike hates to admit he agrees with the majority here. He never wants to go in that house again.

“W-We need to f-f-find Georgie.” Bill starts, Richie, shoving harshly away from him.

“GEORGIE’S DEAD!” He screams, stomping his foot to the ground. Mike could’ve sworn with those words actually to have been said the world grew a little darker. 

Bill is silent before walking to Richie and towering over him. “Take it back.” His voice is even and hollow, Mike see’s Richie shrink back in slight fear. Bill lifts him up by the collar of his shirt. “I said take it back.” He growls.

Richie’s near black eyes stare into Bill’s a snarl forming on his face. “No.” The moment the word slips out of his mouth, Bill punches him in the face.

Beverly screams, trying to make them stop. Mike latches onto Richie’s arm, holding him back. Stan helps him with hesitation. He see’s Ben rushing to Bill’s side, clearly trying to talk him down.

Whatever they’re saying is drowned out by the panicked thoughts in Mike’s head, he hardly notices when Richie breaks free from his grip and bikes away from the group, everyone leaving slowly one by one and Beverly trying to stop them.

All his focus is on a certain clown looking at him from the bushes of a nearby house, It’s face completely destroyed from the pipe. It’s holding five balloons, popping each as each Loser leaves the other. It already holds 2 popped balloons.

One balloon for one friends trust lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O shit gave a quote a new meaning


	7. Green eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben doesn't know what the hell is happening after the losers big fight, but he can tell it's nothing that can be good. Well, maybe one good thing can come out of it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not posting in a while, Finals are coming up and I've really been stressing. Enjoy this shitty chapter cause I don't really like it but I couldn't make it much better!

**Chapter 7**

_ Ben _

It’s only been about three hours after the huge fight that the lucky 7 had before Ben was already in the library, trying to calm himself down. He hadn’t even really been in the fight, he was just… watching.

_ Like a coward… _ He thinks to himself, shoving his face further into his book. He doesn’t understand, they were all getting along just fine yesterday and now suddenly Richie and Eddie hate each other, Bill has punched Richie, and Beverly falling for Bill! Not to mention Stan and Mike have been acting weird too. 

Ben hasn’t known any of them long, but he somehow knows how they're acting is nowhere near normal for their personalities. Mike seems to be the most calm and well judged, but even he’s been on edge. 

His worst fear right now is… losing the only friends he's ever had. The losers club has made him realize he’s been lonely for a large chunk of his life, and he likes having someone around to talk with or make him laugh or to listen whenever he talks about Beverly. 

And all because of this thing, It, he may not ever have that again. He’s not sure if that fact makes him more pissed off at this clown or if it just makes him depressed. 

“Hey…” A familiar voice whispers to him, sitting down across the table from him. “You okay?” Ben looks up from his book to see Beverly sitting across from him, worry written all over her face. He’s almost too surprised to speak. Almost.

“Yeah…” His voice comes out as a high pitched whisper, making his face heat up. He clears his throat. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine…” 

Awkward silence falls over the two, the cling of metal against teeth being one of the only noises as Beverly anxiously chews on her necklace. 

“Are you okay?” Ben asks minutes later, starling Beverly. His back stiffens when she jumps in her chair, instantly thinking that it may fall over.

She just giggles at her almost possible concussion. “I’m okay, Ben. Don’t worry about me.” She softly smiles at him and reaches across the table to lay a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

He tugs away out of instinct, a flash of hurt crossing Beverly's face before understanding. “Sorry, sorry my mom raised me to be cautious about the whole soulmates thing-”

“Don’t worry, I forgot that I’m one of the few not raised in a household like that.” Beverly smiles at him, but there’s pain in her eyes. Ben never even considered what Beverly's cu home life was like, and now he’s not sure he wants to know.

It would probably be overstepping his boundaries to ask about it anyway.

Beverly looks around the library, a sly grin spreading across her face. “Let’s go somewhere else. Where we can… actually talk without being scolded.” She chuckles; Ben's face flushing at what he considered one of the best sounds in the world. 

“Sure…” He whispers, more quiet than necessary. Beverly’s smile widens and she rushes out of the library, Been following after as fast as he can. As soon as they get outside she’s already way ahead of him. “Wait!” He calls after her. “Where are we going?” 

“The barrens!” She shouts back at him, slowing down so he can keep up with her speed. “No one else is going to be there, everyone else will be at home!” Her eyes almost twinkled with joy. 

“Maybe that’s because it’s almost 7, curfew?” Ben won’t even pretend he’s not worried, he’s extremely worried. Curfew is set in place for a reason, and now that they know there’s a killer clown on the loose he feels even more compiled to follow that rule. 

Beverly nods. “Yup! So no one will be there!” She ducks into the woods, making her way down the makeshift path that Bill apparently made whenever he choose the Barrens as his hiding spot. Or hangout as he liked to call it.

Ben reluctantly follows after her, the area that made him feel safe with is newfound friends only yesterday now making him feel like he could be taken at any second. “Are you sure we shouldn’t just go to the ice cream place or something…?” He suggests, his knees feeling weak.

“Positive!” Beverly looks back at him. “I haven’t been able to talk with you in private since we met!” She pushes through the last bit of shrubbery and sits down on the rocks all the losers gathered around yesterday, which was still insane to think about considering the state of the group now. 

“Well, you already know all there is to know about me….” He laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “I like books, I like New kids on the block, and I’m a huge target for Henry Bowers.” 

“You're also a badass!” She defends, swinging her legs. “You’ve been cut what, three times? You’re probably stronger than any loser in our group!” Beverly hops off the rock and walks over to Ben, an extra skip to her step.

Something feels wrong.

“Hell, all of us were scared to death back in that house!” She smiles at him, and Ben feels his stomach churn. “You didn’t seem too scared though…” She trails off, that smile never leaving her face.

Ben knows he’s being paranoid, but he needs to check. “Where were you in that house anyway?” 

She pauses for a moment. “I was next to Stan!” Ben’s heart drops. She was holding back Richie, she wasn’t anywhere near Stan. 

Beverly- No. What Ben thought was Beverly growls at him, a bone chilling smile spreading across her face. “Clever, little boy.” To Ben's horror, Beverly's face slowly begins to fall to the ground in clumps, revealing the bone at muscle underneath. He wants to scream, but something is stopping him.

That damned clown sprouts out of Beverly's flesh, blood spewing all across the Barrens. “I may not be able to play with you in your real life right now!” It laughs, lunging toward Ben and holding him up by his throat. It’s yellow eyes glow brighter than the appearing moon in the sky. “But I can haunt your  dreams for now!” Ben finally is able to let out a scream once he feels sharp knife like objects dig into his neck, tearing out his main artery.

 

“BEN!” He jolts with a start, Beverly shaking the ever living hell out of him. She looks as if he almost died, but also a small twinkle of excitement shined in her green eyes.

“Holy shit…” His voice is hoarse from the nightmare, or whatever the hell that was. It felt too real to just be a nightmare. A part of that was real, it was as real as the colors he’s seeing right now while Beverly has her hands on his arms.

“T-T-Thank God!” Bill appears behind Beverly, his face stained with what looks like… tears? “Y-You crashed your bike an-and you-you were bleeding s-s-s-still!” 

Beverly pulls Ben into a tight hug. “Jesus Christ Ben, you were screaming so much while you were out we thought maybe something tried to possess you…” A shaky laugh escapes her lips, her grip around Ben tightening. 

“Wait… Bill? Beverly?” Ben's vision is extremely blurry. It has to be from blood loss, it was an idiotic idea to try and bike away with three open wounds. 

“I’m here to, stay still, okay?” Mike walks over from what looks to be the direction of the drug store. Yet again his friends are buying a hospital's worth of supplies to just patch something minor up.

Though maybe an opened wound caused by a rust pipe was a little more major than the ‘H’ carved in his stomach. 

“Shit, we may actually have to take him to the hospital…” Beverly says, letting go of Ben. Her amazing green eyes fade back to grey, and he can tell she’s not too happy to have her world dunked back into grey. “That looks really fucking bad.” She looks at Mike who seems panicked, scavenging through the possibly random supplies he bought. 

“I don’t know! I have to kill and tend to sheep, not perform surgery! And Ben isn't’ a sheep! Or any farm animal for that matter!” Mike throws out some neosporin and bandages, muttering something about them being too thin.

Ben stays quiet, much like his first “operation”. Also for the fact that he’s light headed from loss of blood and just figured out Beverly Marsh is his soulmate. She didn’t seem disgusted by her soulmate being him, either. She looked happy about it! Ben hopes that’s not just him hallucinating. 

“I-I-I’m s-so sorry B-B-Ben… I should've c-c-ome after you a-as soon as you left and not have l-l-let you bike off in the state that you're in…” Bill’s visibly shaking, even Ben can tell through his blurred vision so it must be pretty bad. 

“Dont worry!” He manages, coughing. That alone sends a burning pain throughout his lungs and towards the cuts on his stomach. Beverly grabs his hand, her fire red hair and tannish freckles that line her face coming into view. She was even more beautiful when in color…

“It’s okay, Ben! We’re not letting you almost bleed out a second time…” She gives him a weary smile, and Ben does something that shocks even himself.

He leans forward and kisses Beverly, kisses her soft peach colored lips with a trace of red on them. Ben’s even more shocked when she gently kisses him back, pulling back with a flushed face of pink. 

Ben stares into her emerald green eyes, feeling his heart flutter at the sight of her so happy and maybe…. Maybe even in love? 

 

He didn’t know at that point that those striking, hypnotizing emerald eyes would be what saved her life in only a few months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the terrible chapter, I promise the next one will be better. I hope


	8. Mixed Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie can't seem to decide if he wants to be pissed off or feel sorry.  
> (WARNINGS: MENTIONED VERBAL ABUSE AND BAD SELF TALK)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY THIS IS SHORT I SWEAR THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL THE LONGER AND BETTER. ALSO I DONT HAVE A BETA ALL MISTAKES ARE MINE

Chapter 8

_ Richie _

“Stupid fucking nose getting fucking bruised by Eddie fucking Kaspbrak…” Richie grumbles under his breath, kicking a can with more force than was probably necessary. “Stupid William fucking Denbrough punching me in the goddamn face because he can’t handle the fucking truth…” His voice wavers a small bilt, rising in volume. “Stupid fucking LOSERS!” He screams in the middle of the street, stomping his foot so hard that a shot of pain runs up his leg.

A small child winces at the overuse of the harsh word, bolting down the street with their bike quickly. Richie flips them off with hot tears brimming in his eyes, already steaming up his glasses.

_ Stupid fucking glasses. _ He thinks to himself, a tear escaping from his eye. He doesn’t care, he doesn’t even notice. His mind is filled with too many thoughts to be concerned about crying in public, probably looking like a  _ queer. _

Might as well look how he is anyway, his soulmate is a small angry child who most likely never wants to see him again. The feeling is mutual. After all, his “soulmate” punched him more than once, and abandoned him in a time of need. Plus, a boy can’t have a boy soulmate. If there’s one thing that the bible and his parents have taught him it’s that. 

But who can trust a God whenever this thing is lurking around his hometown, killing small children and tearing families apart? Richie knows it's a sin to question your faith, he’s sinned plenty of times though, this is just adding onto the list.

“Mista, you feelin’ awight?” A man behind Richie asks him. Richie just stays where he is, not even wanting to do one of his voices. “You’re shakin’ up a storm ova here!” The stranger lets out a loud belly laugh, and Richie clenches his fists. This man doesn’t know what’s in this town, he has no idea what Richie just had to deal with. He turns on his heel to let the man know just that, but something stops him cold. 

Two men, hand in hand, stare down at him with sparkling eyes. Like they’re seeing something that he can’t see, something he doesn’t understand. His mouth goes dry; that’s not all he sees. The red balloon that floats behind them, defying all laws of science by staying in once place despite the wind, sends him running down the street bawling. The days events have been too much for him to handle, so much happened. Someone new joins and then they’re all iced out because no one can take the truth if it comes from trashmouth.

He bets his life that if Beverly were to say it, Bill would have let it slide. He wouldn’t have yelled at her or hit her, he maybe would’ve even agreed with her. 

What does that say about Richie and Bill’s friendship? They’ve known eachother for years, and now that Bill finally finds a girl he wants to fuck that all goes out the window so he can impress her. God, his entire friend group is full of assholes who are ready to outcast the trashmouth at any turn they get…

 

By they time he gets home and locks himself in his room, all he can think about is Eddie and the burst of color he saw when he grabbed his arm. He thinks about how much he wants to see that again, but at the same time how much he never wants to lay a hand on Eddie. A small part of him believes that he deserves that broken arm, and that he hopes it never heals. Of course that's only a small part of him, the rest of him is trying to refrain himself from calling Eddie right now and making sure he’s okay. Making sure that he isn’t hurt or hospitalized; that his wound isn’t infected. 

He was so angry only a few minutes ago, so angry he was sure he hated Eddie and never wanted to see his face as long as he was on this planet. Now he’s just worried, now he just wants to know if Eddie is okay. He even feels guilty for being mad at him; he knows how Eddie feels about soulmates, Richie is the only person he told about his,basically, phobia about them. 

Richie knows he should be pissed at Eddie, but he swears that small boy has a mind spell over him making him actually  _ vulnerable  _ to his _ feelings _ . Gross. He hates that his heart speeds up with complete fear at the thought of Eddie hurt, knowing that he’d actually comfort Eddie in that moment and become everything Richie convinced himself he was not.

Useful.

If any of the other losers got hurt he knows he would care, but he would be able to hide the fact he wants to hold them tight and make sure they’re breathing. Eddie is different. He can’t hide that fact with Eddie, and that may have just ruined their friendship today.

_ Eddie losing his shit and punching me in the face also contributed to that. _ Richie thinks to himself with crossed arms, leaning against his door and wrinkling his wall of fame. 

(His collage of pictures that Stan gave him.)

He can’t believe he’s such a fuck up, even his own  _ soulmate _ is disgusted with him. Eddie was probably hoping to have some gorgeous blonde who would’ve taken care of him and even been shorter than him, but instead he’s stuck with Richie. Richie, who lied to his best friends about his worst fear. Richie, who can already tell he’s slowly being forgotten by the entirety of Derry. Of course Eddie is disgusted, Richie would be too.

Slowly, Richie trudges over to the foot of his messy bed. Eddie hates how messy his room is, at least he’ll never have to see it again… Just the very thought makes Richie’s knees buckle together. 

All of his friends hate him. He made all of them hate him with an unnecessary comment he didn’t need to make but did anyway. If he hadn’t been so angry about what happened in that damned house he could’ve kept his mouth shut, but with the fact Eddie got hurt… Richie’s thin filter was completely gone. This is why no one took him seriously. This is why he could hear his parents screaming downstairs every single night. It’s all his fault, everything. He should have been taken instead of Georgie, it should have been him. 

Who would miss him anyway? 

 

“Richie!” 

The tapping on the window only grew louder, whoever is on the other side of the glass desperate to get inside. Richie rolls over on his side, squinting in the dark to see the clock mounted on his wall. 

It’s midnight. Who the hell is outside his window? That’s a Richie thing to wake someone up at this time…

“Richie, come on!” The voice begs, and he finally turns his head. Stanley sits on the branch of  a nearby tree, the streaks down his cheeks making it obvious he had been crying. 

“Stan?” He asks with disbelief, cautiously making his way over to the window. “What the hell?” Richie eyes his best friend, not ready to just open his window in the middle of the night considering everything he’s been through lately. 

“Let me in! Please, I have to talk to you!” Stan see’s the distrust in Richie’s eyes. Deeply sighing, he looks directly at the messy haired boy. Messy hair to match his messy room… 

“Stanley Uris, known you for around 8 years now. We used to play in a gross sandbox in 2nd grade!” He yells, knowing Richie heard him when he finally opens the window to let Stan in. 

Before his shoes can touch the hardwood floors, Richie grabs his arm and pulls him down, shutting the window as quickly as possible. “Why are you here?” 

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“About?”

“Well…” 

Richie stands in front of Stan, impatiently tapping his foot. He can tell by the far off look in his eyes that he’s considering if he should even say to Richie what he wants to say. 

“Tell or I kick you out of his house.” Though they both know he’s bluffing, it does get Stan to finally make up his mind. 

“Bill is my soulmate.” He blurts, pale face turning extremely red. “Bill is my soulmate and I’m not sure if we even like each other like that and Eddie is your soulmate and holy shit what the fuck are we going to do?” 

Richie blinks. That’s his only response to the word vomit Stan just produced, what else can he say? Stan is right, though he didn’t know about the whole Stan and Bill being soulmates thing. Not to say it surprises him, he always thought they had some sort of weird chemistry… 

“I don’t know…” Richie starts slowly, making his voice soft to calm down Stan before he triggers them both to have a real panic attack.  “I really don’t, but God I’m glad I got you, Stan.” 

“I’m glad I have you too. Without you I don’t know what I would do.” He says truthfully, catching Richie off guard. “We’re both gonna have to really help eachother out, won’t we?”

Richie nods, glancing over to his window. The night looks as gloomy and bland as he felt, and he wonders if Stan feels the same way right now. 

“And Rich?” He asks, voice sounding further than it had earlier. 

“Yeah?”

“You’re not worthless.”

The rest of the night Richie and Stan held each other and watched whatever happened to be playing on the television, discussing how they would fix this mess they’re in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGAIN IM SO SORRY!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS SM!!!!!!!


	9. Rumors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill is distraught after the Losers fight. Not that his parents can make any worse situation better...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy SHIT I'm so sorry it's been almost an entire fucking YEAR!!! Some recent comments inspired me to write again! ENJOY  
> ALSO: My beta is Nell and her tumblr is here: https://youthful-wind.tumblr.com/

###  **Chapter 9**

 

_ Bill _

The bed creaks under the pressure of the teenager and his bag, both carelessly resting on the mattress’ worst board. Bill groans and covers his face, dragging his hands down as he thinks about what he needs to do. It’s been only a few hours since the huge fight the Losers had, even though it was mainly Richie and Bill who were actually doing any of the fighting. He feels absolutely awful despite how nonchalant he acts about it. First, Stan is his soulmate, who happens to also be a  _ boy.  _ Second, Richie has the nerve to even dare tell Bill that his baby brother is something more that missing, something that Bill knows might be true and is more likely than him being alive. But it still hurt, dammit. It hurt like hell, making Bill have to relive that memory when it came out of his mouth. Third of all,  _ Beverly fucking Marsh is Ben Hanscom’s soulmate.  _ They didn’t even have to say it. The way she held him, the way he looked at her when they touched? He knew. He knew that’s what true soulmates are supposed to look like. That’s what it’s supposed to look like when you get the right soulmate, when you don’t end up with someone who you’re not even sure if you’re allowed to love. How can Bill love Stan? They’re both  _ BOYS. _

It doesn’t help that Bill has been infatuated with Beverly since the first grade, praying every single day when he was religious in his youth that God would have her be his soulmate. This is just one more reason for him to know that God has completely abandoned this planet, Beverly should’ve been his soulmate. She should’ve saw color with  _ him.  _

But of course that didn’t happen. After all, he’s Bill Denbrough. Why should anything good happen to him? It seems like nothing ever goes  _ right  _ for him, and he’s so sick of that. He just wants to have one good day, just ONE-

“Bill, hun? Dinner's ready, come down and make your plate!” His mother timidly shouts, hating when she’s too loud but not liking to be quiet, either. 

Bill’s like her in that aspect, if he  _ really _ thinks about it. People silently follow him, just like people silently follow his mother.

After Georgie though, no one follows his mother.

“C-C-Coming Mom!” Bill yells back, forcing himself to get off the bed and trudge himself downstairs despite the fact he wishes to just sleep away the rest of the summer, and if that means that It will come and take him, he’ll let It try.

He sits down with his mom and dad, plate fully made for each of them. Though they all hardly touch their food after Georgie went missing. He may have been bratty sometimes, but he made dinner time much more cheerful and involved. Now Bill’s dad just reads the newspaper while eating, and his mom sits there in silence.

Bill is the only one who ever tries to start a conversation, which is why he’s shocked when he hears his father clear his throat to speak.

“So, Bill… I’ve been wanting to talk to you about your… uh, your friends.” He coughs, eyeing Bill’s mother. She looks away. 

Bill doesn’t like this.

“Y-Y-Yes? What ab-about them?” He asks, narrowing his eyes. He knows that his parents don’t adore his friends,Richie least of all, but even though they’re fighting he still doesn’t want to hear any of his fathers complaints about them.

Bill takes note of how… uncomfortable his dad seems. He’s normally extremely composed and confident. “Well, I was just wondering why you were hanging around… that girl? The Marsh one?” His mom flinches and attempts to hide behind her coffee mug as Bill’s face turns a dark grey, a sign he’s either angry or embarrassed.

He crosses his arms, his already dull eyes clouding over even more. “E-E-Excuse me? S-S-She’s a n-nice girl!”

“Son, you know what they said...”

“S-S-S-So? That’s j-j-just some rumors! She’s always been r-r-really sweet.” His mother gives him a warning look, signaling for him to stop talking and just answer the question. Do they consider that he has bad days too? He can’t always pay 100% respect toward them, especially when they hardly show any to him or any attention. “Plus, s-s-she’s fun to hang around, d-d-dad. S-s-she’s my friend.”

Bill’s father sighs and rubs his temples. “Billy, you know her dad sees color when-”

“S-SHUT UP!” Bill screams, standing and slamming his hands on the table. He doesn’t care about the looks they’re giving him, he doesn't care if hell be grounded until he’s 18, he cares about his friends. Even if they can be assholes… They’re still his friends. They all are, even Richie fucking Tozier, the biggest douchebag on the planet. 

“Excuse me?” His father asks, lips turning up in a slight scowl. “Bill, I’m trying to protect you, I hope you know that…” he trails off, looking outside. Bill’s mother isn’t even looking at him. They’d rather see anything else expect their only son being angry at them. Anything at all.

“Dad, sh-sh-she’s really, really nice. Her dad is-is-is…” Bills eyes well with tears. He can’t imagine what that man does to her. He doesn’t want to imagine it, he fucking hates how to man looks at her, but he  _ touches her.  _ He wants her father to die. Bill would gladly do it.

Everyone has heard the rumors. Everyone. 

His mother lays a hand on his shaking shoulder. “We know, honey. But there’s nothing we can do, it’s just rumors…”

Bill feels a hot rage going through him… red. This is what red feels like. Red is instant, red is bad. 

Red is angry. 

He yanks away from his mother and goes to the front door, slamming it behind him. There’s plenty they could do. They could tell the sheriff, they could call the cops, contact the government and get that sick piece of shit locked up for as long as they could. 

The rain hammers down on him, plastering his hair and clothes to his body. He hardly even cares. He just keep walking, not knowing where he’s going, not caring if It is watching him. He could be less scared of the damned thing in this moment, he just needs to walk. He needs to run. Bill needs to do  _ something  _ because god dammit if he doesn’t he swears he’s going to lose his mind.

He walks down the streets of Derry for what feels like hours. It’s long past curfew at this point, if someone sees him surely the cops will be called.

Bill scoffs, a smile ghosting on his lips. Let them call the cops. The cops in this town can’t find several missing kids, they’re bound to not find him either. Not unless he wants to be found. 

Maybe that’s what Georgie is doing. He’s hiding away from this god awful town, all these god awful people. He’ll come back when he wants to. He has to come back. All of them do… It couldn’t have taken them  _ all _ .

Tears start rolling down Bills face. Or maybe it’s just the rain. He can’t tell at this point, he feels too numb to even care. Grey. 

He’s seen the color all his life but only felt it once or twice. He’s feeling it right now. The only other time he remembers feeling like this is when Georgie die-

Bill stops in his tracks, knees shaking. He can’t help the echoing sob that escapes him, nor can he help when he falls to the mud written ground, curling into a ball as if that could protect him from the onslaught of thoughts in his mind. His nails dig into his arms, enough to break the skin. He screams to himself, the hot tears coming faster. 

He doesn’t even know where he is at this point. He’s somewhere in the outskirts of Derry, he never should’ve walked so far from home. 

Georgie probably thought the same thing before something happened. Before he was taken, or kept running, or… or…

A hand on his back makes Bill jump, his heart racing. Is he about to find out exactly what happened to his brother?

His anger had never turned to fear so quickly.

He can’t process what words are being said to him. All he knows is someone, they appear to be a woman, is knelt in front of him, talking to him in a calm voice. She tries to help him stand, but he’s shaking far too much for that. She picks him up, something that makes Bill want to fight, want to run off far away from this place.

But he doesn't. He stays as still as he can, completely frozen with pure fear. Thinking that maybe, just maybe if he complies with her that she won’t do her worst. Maybe even will pity him…

Everything goes black when he hears a second voice that sounds achingly familiar. 

 

“-ill, Bill come on, wake up, you’re scaring us…”

Bill groans, trying to sit up before being gently pushed back down. A woman speaks, seeming to talk to someone else in the room. 

“Mike, don’t let him get up. Let me get him some water and bread…” Bill’s eyes instantly open, and he almost starts crying again. It’s Mike, Mike Hanlon. He doesn’t care how new to the group he is, he’s someone that Bill knows and someone that obviously cares for Bill. 

“Oh my God, Mike, thank God…” Bill gasps, his hand trying to find something to hold on. It lands on Mike’s hand, but he doesn’t care. Even  _ if _ he didn’t know who his soulmate was, Mike found his a few years back. Or at least that’s the rumor.

This town has a lot of those… just how many are true though? What can Bill trust?  _ Who _ can he trust?

Mike squeezes his hand reassuringly, easing Bill’s many worries. He can trust his friends. Even if he’s mad at them, he can trust them. No matter what. 

“It’s going to be okay, grandma is getting you some stuff to calm your nerves.” Mike pauses, unsure of what he could say to make Bill feel any better. He doesn’t even know what happened…

“Thank you, your grandma is too n-n-nice… I’m s-s-s-sorry about the trouble…” Bill wants to curse the moment his stutter comes back. He hates that damn thing so much. Does Mike’s grandma know about it? Surely she does, the entire town knows. He’s Bill Denbrough, the living brother.

Not to say Georgie isn’t alive. Bill would never say that.

Mike sighs, his tense shoulders slightly relaxed. Now, Bill has never been one to be insecure about his body or frame, but while lying next to someone like Mike… you can’t help but feel small. The boy is pure muscle thanks to his work on the farm, and considering it was most likely his grandmother who carried Bill in, she probably is too. “You’re an idiot for running out past curfew. Do you know what might’ve happened if my grandma wasn’t out? Or if she didn’t hear you scream?” Mike shakes his head, looking as if he doesn’t even want to think of the endless possibilities. After all, Henry Bowers lives nearby, and most everyone knows what he did to his dog...

Bill knew to expect the small lecture from Mike, despite not knowing him terribly well. He has a big heart, it must be hard for him to do some of the work here on the farm… 

His voice goes into a scolding whisper. “What if It was around,huh? What would you have done, you’d be a goner!” 

Saving Bill from having to reply, Mike’s grandma comes in the room with a glass of cold water and a fresh roll. Bill thanks her and quickly devours the roll and drinks the water. He didn’t really get to eat dinner before the whole ordeal with his parents…

She sits down in a chair nearby where Bill lays. “Now, why don’t you tell me why you were out in the rain pass town curfew? You’re not in trouble, I promise.” She smiles encouragingly at him. Mike seems to ease up now that there's an adult in the room, but he’s still very obviously worried about Bill. 

“M-My parents and I got into a f-f-fight… I left the h-h-house and just kept on… going..” Bill shrugs meekly, knowing his excuse sounds dumb. Actually now that he says it out loud, it is dumb. He should've just gone up to his room, or simply stayed quiet…

He wasn’t expecting for the old woman to swiftly get up and hug him, or for Mike to join in. “It’s alright, sometimes kids don’t get along with their parents great… I’m sure they're worried sick about you, but they also should know to not say what makes you uncomfortable…” Bill, once again shaking, hugs her back and nods, not knowing how much he needed to hear those words. Mike’s grandma lets go too soon in Bill’s opinion, crossing her arms. Her brows furrow in thought. “It’s illegal if I don’t tell your parents where you are, so I’m going to have to call them… Until they get you, Mike sweetie, can you take him up to your room and talk to him?” she chuckles “Surely he’d prefer talking with you and not some senile old lady.” 

Mike smiles, but Bill can see the hint of sadness behind his eyes. “You’re not senile, grandma…” She kisses his forehead as she grabs the relatively small phonebook of Derry. Mike gives her another quick hug before leading Bill to his room. 

Bill is surprised. The town all says that the Hanlon family was broken after Mike’s parents died, that his grandparents were awful people and treated him with no respect. 

That’s a rumor he’ll have to mark as very false. These people are much more stable than his family, or any other losers for that matter. He’s not sure of Ben's family, he hasn’t really met them yet…

So far, Mike seems to live the most ‘normal’ life in Derry. Well, as normal as someone can get here. 

Mike sits down on his bed, his room being where someone would normally say their attic is. Of course, his room looks nothing like an attic. It’s actually very cozy up in there, with a few windows showing the Hanlon land. “Want to tell me what they said?” He asks carefully, knowing he's treading on thin ice. He doesn’t  _ want  _ to see Bill break down sobbing again, but if that’s what it takes to make him feel better, so be it. 

Bill rubs his arm, noting that Mike or someone in his family has wrapped up where he clawed at himself. He sits down next to Mike. “Th-they were talking about who I han-hang out with and about B-B-Beverly and her dad…” Bill glances up at Mike, almost glad to see that his friend looked about as angry as he felt when his parents were talking to him. He decides that it’s safe to continue his little story. “And they s-s-s-s-started talking about her dad… s-s-s-saying there’s nothing we can do about it… I got m-m-mad and left. Then my thoughts g-got the best of me…” He doesn’t finish. Mike knows how it ends, with is Grandma finding him and then them helping him.

“Bill, your parents sound like dicks.” Mike pauses. “No offence, but I just… what Beverly’s dad does isn’t okay.” He laughs, but it’s full of hatred and pity. “My dad once met him. Had his gun ready in case he dared tried something with me. My folks never did like him, even my grandparents hate him. In fact, my grandma thinks the mother is just as bad for not protectin’ Bev…” 

Bill notes that when Mike gets agitated, a hint of a country accent slips out. A good thing to know, in Bill’s opinion. 

Mike shakes his head. “I don’t blame you for getting mad. I would’ve done the same thing in your position, no doubt.” He looks at Bill. Somehow even just his gaze manages to calm Bill down even more… “I know y’all are mad at eachother right now, but friends are friends. I’d love to get to know all the Losers better.” He smiles as brightly as he can muster. “After all, we gotta stick together, y’know? A group of losers can turn us into heroes.”

Bill’s heard of the rumors that he’s more emotional than other boys, that he seems to cry to much or show too many weaknesses.

As he clings to Mike, choking on the sobs begging to come out, he knows that rumor has some truth it. He is pretty emotional, which is why all of Derry thinks he’s a loser.

Bill is a loser. But he’s not the kind they think of. Bill is a Loser with friends, a whole group of Derry Losers.

And they’re gonna save this damn town, Bill just has to figure out how.

 

Pennywise snarls in its well, stomach gurgling and wounds burning. That damned  _ whore _ hurt it so bad… it’ll be out of commission for at least a month. 

It screeches, eating the last bits of meat from some girl. Some little scrawny child. She was easy prey, but an awful choice for a meal. It looks up at all the floating dead meals above it’s little trophy pile. It so desperately wants to eat them all right now…

“Be patient…” It hisses to itself. “For… Later…”

It crawls to a dark corner of its well, staring at the seven balloons. It laughs bitterly.

Pennywise can’t wait to pop each of those balloons until they’re just a pool of ruined red on the floor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE THE NEXT CHAPTER WON'T TAKE AN ACTUAL YEAR LMAO  
> ALSO GO SHOW NELL SOME LOVE!!! https://youthful-wind.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> If you've made it this far, please tell me what you think! If you think I should resume this, let me know! I'll try to update this the best I can, I swear on my grave. I won't go a week without uploading if people like it.


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